Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?
Manhattan, New York
UPS guy: Hey [FedEx guy] — while you’re in there, can you pick me up some of those neon green spandex?
FedEx guy, delivering to American Apparel: Thong or panties?
UPS guy: Thong — extra-small.
Story Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Office grunt #1: The Internet is down. Email still works, but there’s something wrong with the Internet.
Office grunt #2: So the Internet’s running fine, right?
1 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: I’m gonna go with NO…
Coworker #1: Did you work here in 1993?
Coworker #2: ‘Here’ in what sense?
1110 West Washington Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: next cube over
General manager to sales guy: You are such a candy-assed, chicken-shit, pansy son of a gun!
Warehouse manager to sales guy: Dude, I’ve dated girls that are more of a man than you are!
Receptionist to warehouse manager: Yeah, but you’re from Jersey.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Waiter: She did not like it in the ass.
Waitress: Really?
Waiter: At first, I mean.
Waitress: But as she got more and more drunk, it felt better?
Waiter: I don’t know about better, but she stopped yelling.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: Hello. I don’t speak English.
Newton, Massachusetts
Working girl #1: So, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tattoo of dolphins around my belly button.
Working girl #2: But if you get pregnant, won’t they look like… whales?
Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
Co-worker #1: Is that a boob?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I think it is.
Co-worker #1: There aren’t any appropriate pictures of Native Americans!
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
