Business Officer: You remember when I told you that?
Editor: No, I was drunk at the time.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
Business Officer: You remember when I told you that?
Editor: No, I was drunk at the time.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
Drone: Just shave your bum fluff off and stick on your face!
Canberra
Australia
Man using bathroom stall: Well, I drink about a liter, a liter and a half of water a day.
Man at urinal: Drinking water is good for the kidneys, and I've got a constipation problem, so drinking water helps me.
Atlanta, Georgia
(young executive is talking about a presentation (aka deck) he sent to the director)
Director: You know, it just got me so excited to see a deck like that. I'm so glad. The deck actually got me almost over-excited. Now I'm going to be playing around with this deck all night.
Exec: Uh huh.
Director: It's just so stimulating .
Exec: Uh huh.
Director: I'm just fascinated by decks like that. I feel very over-excited about it.
Exec: Uh huh.
(pause)
Director: Oh, you must be getting really overheated. I should let you go. Have a good trip. I'll be thinking about your deck until you come back.
K Street
Washington, DC
Coworker #1 on phone: Yes, this is Allie*… [Screams.]Coworker #2: What’s wrong?
Coworker #1: They think my prize steer is loose on the playground.
741 Griffin Road
Albany, New York
Suit: The other way I learned it, from Schoolhouse Rock, is that the alligator is hungry and so wants to bite the larger one.
Woman coworker: Ohhh… I see. That would confuse me, because it’s got animals.
919 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: i guess graduating elementary school just was
Woman supervisor: So the manager called and asked me if I could open today.
Man supervisor: Yeah, me too. I was supposed to close tonight.
Woman supervisor: I told him I had some very important things to do this morning. Mostly it was getting over my hangover, ’cause I was gonna get fucking drunk last night.
Man supervisor: Sounds like a legit excuse to me.
Woman supervisor: Don’t worry, you can get drunk tonight.
8341 NW Roanridge Road
Kansas City, Missouri
Coworker: You keep hearing all this stuff about cherries being good for you. They’re actually not that good for you. It’s just what the people in northern Michigan say to get you to buy their cherries!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Male coworker: So,what’s new?
Female coworker, surfing the net: I don’t know… Britney Spears had her kids taken away.
Male coworker: I heard about that.
Female coworker: They’re not very cute, anyway.
Male coworker: It’s because she has an ugly puss.
Female coworker: What?!
Male coworker: Women with ugly vaginas have ugly babies.
East Evergreen Street
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Office grunt #1: I hate all these fucking meetings!
Office grunt #2: Didn’t you set this meeting up?
Office grunt #1: Yeah, but that’s not the point.
Oil company office
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Lara
