Marketing coworker: My wife is an identical twin.
AP coworker: Did you ever ask them for a threesome?
Marketing coworker: Hell no! My wife's twin is a pain in the ass!
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Marketing coworker: My wife is an identical twin.
AP coworker: Did you ever ask them for a threesome?
Marketing coworker: Hell no! My wife's twin is a pain in the ass!
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Lawyer #1: We still have the right to prove we’re right, right?
Lawyer #2: Right.
465 California Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: dances with lawyers
Lady peon: So, I was going home on the train the other night, and this drunk guy sat next to me, and I was just sitting reading my book, and I could tell that he was looking at me, so I wasn’t looking at him. And then he starts talking, and I realize he’s been reading over my shoulder the entire time and now he’s reading out loud, and I was like, ‘Hey! I haven’t even gotten to that part yet!’
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy #1: So, my daughter tells me she wants to get her tongue pierced, and I told her there was no way in hell I would let her fuck up her teeth after all of the money we spent with those braces straightening up her teeth. And after I said that she actually understood where I was coming from.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah. Now she wants to get her nipples pierced.
Government office
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: b-chomp
Innocent Mormon: Hey, does anyone want to lick this?
Rest of coworkers, giggling: Ummmm… No.
Innocent Mormon: I want someone else to lick it, I hate licking it myself.
Helpful coworker: Just go get your finger wet and rub it on there.
South Salt Lake City, Utah
Cube dweller: Do not Google ‘Britney Spears’ vagina.’ All you get is porn.
455 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Alex
Male coworker: I told my wife what you call my little thing.
Female coworker: (stunned silence)
Westlake, Texas
Overheard by: Epp
Cube rat: So, does he know that you gave him herpes? You know, it’s one thing to give him herpes, but his daughters, too?!
Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Manager to employee: Yeah, just put it right in there… It's okay, I got tested this morning! (15 minutes later) Oh, it's infectious. I have to put cream on it.
Ybor City, Florida
Coworker to another: Just stick it in your pants and see how it feels!
Dayton, Ohio
