Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn’t want any animals you should have lived in the city!
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn’t want any animals you should have lived in the city!
333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Worker #1: Thanks for the pretzels.
Worker #2: Oh, now the bag is dirty.
Worker #1: I’ll have you know my hands are clean. I sit here at my desk and sanitize them all day.
Worker #3: You know, I can sanitize you. All women need to be sanitized.
9725 Datapoint Drive
San Antonio, Texas
Female coworker: I wish I was disabled.
Male coworker: What? Why?
Female coworker: ‘Cause then people would do things for you, like carry your stuff and get you things.
Male coworker: People do that for pretty people — why don’t you wish to be pretty?
910 Louisiana Avenue
Houston, Texas
Female cube rat, reviewing document: This text is pixelated.
Male cube rat: What is that? (reads over her shoulder.) “Senior oral presentation”? (snickers) I don't think I want to know about that.
Female cube rat: Really, Jim? This early in the morning?
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Haven't had enough coffee yet
Office girl #1, singing: Sometimes I feel like saying “Lord, I just don't care,” but you got the love I need to see me through.
Office girl #2: Fitting with the rapture and all tomorrow. Sarah's pissed cause I am going to heaven and she isn't. Apparently the Jews are having rapture parties.
Burlington, Massachusetts
Coworker #1, at nine AM: Is it time to go home yet?
Coworker #2: Not quite! Why, not feeling well?
Coworker #1: Was at a friend’s house last night — mixed rum and wine. It’s gonna be a long day… Think the boss lady will let us go home early?
Coworker #2: Don’t think so. Just drink a glass of water; you’ll be fine.
Coworker #1: Maybe if I pee in my office, she’ll let me go home.
Coworker #2: But I don’t think she’ll let you come back…
Kenmount Road
St. John’s, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Summer Temp
Female coworker, as another is delivered flowers: Every time I see the flower delivery guy I hope it’s for me. I wish someone would send me something nice like that. Oh, well. I’ll just take a piece of chocolate from the candy dish.
Male coworker: That’s right, decrease your chances even further.
Route 110
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Drone
Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker on phone: Now, there's some guys that can really pitch washers. Don't shit yourself.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: Did I really just hear that?
Mailroom worker: I know she in there ’cause I can smell her. Sweet and savory.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Pookiepie
