Woman #1, looking over cubicle: Rachel is going to be angry that you are sending her so many emails.
Woman #2, turning around: Who gives a fuck?
Woman #1: Seriously, you better watch it. [looks around] She can’t take too many emails, she has to pace herself.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not pacing myself!
Courtyard dweller #1: I am not sure I should hire him.
Courtyard dweller #2: Why? He seems cool enough.
Courtyard dweller #1: I asked him what he was listening to on his iPod when he walked in.
Courtyard dweller #2: Yeah, and?
Courtyard dweller #1: He was listening to Celine Dion.
Courtyard dweller #2: Enough said.
10050 Wolfe Road
Cupertino, California
Female coworker #1: Squiggy committed suicide last night.
[Long pause.]Female coworker #1: He seems to have jumped out of the tank and shriveled up on the desk top… so it looks like I’ll be getting another guppy.
Female coworker #2: Looks like it.
Female coworker #1: Or… Yeah, I guess I’ll get another guppy.
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1, about unproductive meeting: It's like a circle jerk?
Coworker #2: A circle jerk where no one comes.
Coworker #1: Those are the worst kinds.
Sacramento, California
Coworker #1: Oh, can’t find the paper clips.
Coworker #2: Can’t find ’em?
Coworker #1: Nope, just like yesterday…where do they all go?
Coworker #2: I don’t know.
Coworker #1: I don’t know either.
Pause
Coworker #2: Do you want some of mine?
Coworker #1: Sure.
Coworker #2: How many would you like?
Coworker #1: Hmmm…well, I just need one for now, but I might need some more later…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha, if you were on Survivor, your treasure would be paper clips.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha, that’s right — dontcha know…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #2: Girl, please.
261 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Thin coworker girl, about carrot cake: I'll have seconds.
Middle-aged coworker woman: Your tapeworm wants another piece?
1000 Exposition
Los Angeles, California
Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!
Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia
Male employee to foreign coworker: So you're going swimming today? Brought your Speedos?
Foreign coworker: You mean my panties?
Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England
Overheard by: laughing uncontrollably
Co-worker #1: You know that copier sorts on its own…
Co-worker #2: I know, I just like to press buttons.
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
Female coworker describing a guy she met: He pulled up on his scooter… with his sister on the back…
15351 Roosevelt Boulevard
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: is that a good thing
