Guy exiting bathroom to coworker: Seriously, you could have measured first downs with that.
Lititz, Pennsylvania
Guy exiting bathroom to coworker: Seriously, you could have measured first downs with that.
Lititz, Pennsylvania
Guy #1: Man it stinks in here.
Guy #2: HR should offer training in the courtesy flush.
12545 Riata Vista Circle
Austin, Texas
Crazy coworker, nonchalantly: I knew a guy who killed his girlfriend. Stuffed her in the wall…
Government Office
Washington, DC
Office grunt: That lady died? She’s the one that stole our air freshener out of our bathroom!
277 Coalinga Plaza
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: I love my co-worker
Employee: Do you think that font is big enough on these badges?
Manager: I think you have to make it really big, 36 font. Mark wants to be able to see who is coming at him from across the room.
Paramus, New Jersey
Female office worker to another: Most of the stuff on my to-do list is stuff I have to do.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Whaaaaat?
Older worker: You know what they used to call those shoes when I was your age?
Peon wearing ballet flats: Um, I’m not sure I want to know…
Older worker: Slut shoes. You could always tell which girls were easy because they wore shoes just like that.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: wondering what she’d think of my 3-inch heels
Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.
Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
(two coworkers at the urinals)
Coworker #1, about colleague: Man, what a pecker.
Coworker #2: Hey, quit looking!
Lebanon, Missouri
Suit #1: Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you in forever! Still married?
Suit #2: Yup, expecting my first.
Suit #1: Really! When?
Suit #2: November 7th. Bitch finally finished her PhD so she could work, and now she’s pregnant!
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
