Coworkers

2PM Supply Run

Coworker #1: Oh, can’t find the paper clips.
Coworker #2: Can’t find ’em?
Coworker #1: Nope, just like yesterday…where do they all go?
Coworker #2: I don’t know.
Coworker #1: I don’t know either.

Pause

Coworker #2: Do you want some of mine?
Coworker #1: Sure.
Coworker #2: How many would you like?
Coworker #1: Hmmm…well, I just need one for now, but I might need some more later…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha, if you were on Survivor, your treasure would be paper clips.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha, that’s right — dontcha know…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #2: Girl, please.

261 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Stop Talking About My Unborn Baby That Way

Thin coworker girl, about carrot cake: I'll have seconds.
Middle-aged coworker woman: Your tapeworm wants another piece?

1000 Exposition
Los Angeles, California

We've Already Outsourced Much of Your Work to That Coatrack

Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!

Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia

In a Manner of Speaking, I Suppose

Male employee to foreign coworker: So you're going swimming today? Brought your Speedos?
Foreign coworker: You mean my panties?

Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England

Overheard by: laughing uncontrollably

12PM Prepare Reports

Co-worker #1: You know that copier sorts on its own…
Co-worker #2: I know, I just like to press buttons.

2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio

Overheard by: Kimmie

I Think You Could Have Ruled Him Out at ‘Scooter’

Female coworker describing a guy she met: He pulled up on his scooter… with his sister on the back…

15351 Roosevelt Boulevard
Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: is that a good thing

Except Today They Were Spouting Some Nonsense About Loving My Neighbor

Coworker #1: What radio station do you listen to on your way to work?
Coworker #2: I listen to a Christian station so I can prepare myself for dealing with you assholes.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: one of the assholes

This Just Got Way Too Zen

Intercom: Hey, how do you spell Sarah with an “h”?
Assistant: Yes.

3350 Tillamook Street
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Carrie Cole

They're the Only Thing That Gets Me Through Those Commercials

Woman #1: I love Lean Cuisine.
Woman #2: Me too! We should be in commercials for them.
Woman #1: Yeah! We really should.
Woman #2: Know what else I would be in commercials for?
Woman #1: What?
Woman #2: Epidurals. (walks away)

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Steph

Its Job Is Done

Rail-thin colleague: Do you know that when you’re pregnant your brain actually physically shrinks?
Pregnant colleague: Oh, don’t tell me that! Everything else gets bigger, and my freaking brain shrinks?!

415 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Fertile Bystander

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist