Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Coworker #1: Mine feels bigger than yours.
Coworker #2: Yours definitely looks bigger than mine.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: A.P.
Female employee, preparing for office happy hour: Do any of you have a bottle opener for the beer?
Male employee #1: He does.
Male employee #2: No, I don't.
Male employee #1: Yes you do, isn't there one on your belt buckle or key chain?
Male employee #2: Uhhh… No.
Male employee #1: Really? I'd swear that last time we did this, you took something out of your pants that did the job very well for her.
Kansas City, Missouri
Woman exiting bathroom stall to woman washing her hands at sink: Shirley! I like you! You've filled out your jeans!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Loud coworker: Well, what did he make it stiff with?
Quiet coworker, mumbling: Glue and a hairbrush.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wookie
Coworker: Somebody’s getting arrested today, and it isn’t going to be me!
1218 Webster St.,
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Stacy Lewis
Male Co-worker: Are my ears bleeding?
Female Co-worker: I didn’t know I was that loud. I’m sorry. I had the volume down.
Male Co-worker: It’s just your voice, you’re loud. I have excellent hearing. Put it this way, I can hear a snake piss on cotton.
5 Times Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: Tamika J.
PR guy to marketing guy: You know, I'm just going to massage it a little. I just want to get it into your hands as soon as possible, you know?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl who cannot hear
Office girl #1: I wonder where’s Karen’s* been.
Office girl #2: The bitch convention.
Office girl #1: She’s probably the keynote speaker.
Jackson Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: another karen* hater
iPod chick #1: I told Lauren* to look hot today, we’ll see…
iPod chick #2: I know, it’s so hard for her. She can only look hot like once a month.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
