Boss to chubby young female coworker: Hey, why are you jingling?
Chubby young female co-worker (after brief pause): Umm, because I'm fat.
Boss (horrified): Wait… What?! No, no, not “jiggle” …jingle!
Chubby young female coworker (laughing): Oooooooh! (lifts up foot and gives it a shake) I have little bells on my socks!
New Market, Maryland
Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum.
270 County Hospital Road
Quincy, California
Erring employee: Shit, I screwed it up.
Naive employee: Don't worry. If it's screwable, I've done it.
Lakewood, Colorado
Woman to coworker: And I was like, “Whatever, you don't pay my bills!” (pause) Well, actually, he pays all of my bills.
Buffalo, New York
Older woman: This is the first day since you started here that I haven't talked to you!
Younger man: I know! I'm going to go home and write about it in my diary!
Anoka, Minnesota
Overheard by: Will he use his sparkly pen?
Employee #1: Is the new copier up and running yet?
Employee #2: It's been plugged in since Wednesday, but we're not using it yet. I think it's charging.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: On The Wrong Planet
Coworker #1: You made your own bed, dude.
Coworker #2, pouting: I know! But that's what I do when I'm drunk. I make beds!
Seattle, Washington
Coworker #1: Check out this cat stroller!
Coworker #2: If cats need strollers, no wonder us humans are so fat.
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Drone #1: Crikey Moses! Who the hell wants their picture taken in the Mastermind chair?
Drone #2: Crikey Moses?! You need some better swear words!
201 Wood Lane
London, England
Female clerk to male clerk: Every time I see you, you're either pushing it in or pushing it out.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: oh realllyyyy
