Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Female coworker holding wooden box: My box smells a lot like smoked fish.
Parnell
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Gus
Lady peon: You can fit a lot tampons in there, but pads are a completely different story.
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: So What?
30-ish guy shouting from desk: What’s a MILF? [Everyone laughs.] No, really — what is a MILF? I just got an e-mail about it!
Virginia
VP: This is not the correct math.
Director: But I’m applying it consistently.
Normal Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
Coworker on phone: So, I'm trying to get on MTV, and I keep getting rejected.
San Carlos, California
Male office worker: Come on! Smell my neck, my cologne is amazing!
Female office worker: I can't. My nose is stuffed and I can't smell anything.
Male office worker: That's no problem. I'll still be able to penetrate!
Topeka, Kansas
Lady peon #1: If we keep working at this rate we are A — going to get sick, B — going to be tired, and C — going to hate each other!
Lady peon #2: … You forgot D — divorced.
Tallahassee, Florida
Maintenance guy #1 on cell: Hello? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Si. Sure, okay [hangs up].
Maintenance guy #2: Who was that?
Maintenance guy #1: I don’t know — some Mexican dude. He was talking Spanish and I just agreed with him. I think it was a wrong number.
7160 Riverwood Drive
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Bored Receptionist
Assistant manager: So, you went with the monochromatic look today, huh?
CSR: Nah, man, this is olive.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Steph
