Worker #1: Did you vote?
Worker #2: I can’t vote.
Worker #1: Why not?
Worker #2: I’m not a citizen.
Worker #1: You’re from here, no?
Worker #2: No, I’m from Canada.
Worker #1: Oh… You don’t look like a Canadian.
45 Rockefeller Center
New York, New York
Front office lady #1: “Abraham begot Isaac.” What does that mean?
Front office lady #2: It means Abraham is Isaac’s father -he had Isaac. It’s like “Adam knew Eve.” That means Adam banged her.
Front office lady #1: I don’t think you can say that.
Medical Office
Lincoln, Nebraska
Worker #1: Is anyone else in here cold?
Worker #2: Well I'm not warm…If that's what you mean.
Renton, Washington
Staffer #1: Hey, Gary*, do you have a spoon?
Staffer #2: What kind of spoon?
Staffer #1: Um, one to eat liquids with… What other kinds of spoons are there?
Staffer #2: Well, jeez — there’s fishing spoons, crack spoons, and cuddling positions.
Staffer #1: You’re the only person I know who would ever think of those kinds of spoons over a soup spoon.
Waterfront
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Fork and Knife
Office worker #1: Do we need to talk about how to handle a psychiatric emergency with her?
Office worker #2: If it happens, I'm shutting my door on her crazy ass.
Atlanta, Georgia
Cube dweller #1 to cube dweller #3: Why are you eating Fritos?
Cube dweller #2: Well, everybody needs a good Lay.
Cube dweller #3: I could have two or three right in a row.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Worker #1: Well, yeah, I was hoping to spend more time with Stan* in the future.
Worker #2, soon to go overseas: Yeah, you can fill the gaping hole in his life when I leave.
Worker #1: I thought we could fill each other’s gaping holes.
Worker #2: Argh!
162 Goulburn Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Warlach
Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.
821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina
(worker #1 opens can of Monster energy drink)
Worker #2: Wow, I can smell your monster from over here.
Knob Noster, Missouri
Overheard by: Jason
