Woman #1: I don’t want to show you guys my hairy back!
Woman #2, singing: Hairy baaack, hairy baaack!
Forbes Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Woman #1: I don’t want to show you guys my hairy back!
Woman #2, singing: Hairy baaack, hairy baaack!
Forbes Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Cube chick #1: I thought you put that up so everyone could see.
Cube chick #2: Nope. This is just for me. (deep sigh) I don't know why they made her bald.
Cube chick #1: I think they're trying to make her look 3-d.
Carol Stream, Illinois
Overheard by: eh what?
Coworker#1: Okay, I’m back.
Coworker#2: Where did you go?
Coworker#3: We went to get a slushie.
Coworker#2: What? Where’s mine?
Coworker#1: You didn’t say you wanted one.
Coworker#2: Well, must my slushie needs be known to everyone? I just can’t believe you went without even asking me.
Coworker#3: How is she supposed to know if you wanted a slushie?
Coworker#2: I always ask her if she wants one when I go. I even give her money if she wants one. Oh, and look now. Now your’re drinking it in front of me.
Coworker #1: Dude! You never said you wanted one. You even saw me walk out. Do you even want one?
Coworker# 2: No, I’m fine.
19219 N 4th Street
Covington, Louisiana
Data entry worker #1: So I told her I need special glasses because of my stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: Your what?
Data entry worker #1: My stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: You have stigmata?
Data entry worker #1: Yeah.
Data entry worker #2: You suffer the wounds of Jesus?
Data entry worker #1: What?
Passing supervisor: She means her “astigmatism.”
Data entry worker #2: Like in my eyes.
Data entry worker #1: (laughs hysterically)
Bridgeton, Missouri
Overheard by: Ready for Jesus
Loud office lady: I don’t need to learn no more. You know money, you know dick, you know pussy — you don’t need to know no more.
Government office, 400 Maryland Avenue SW
Washington, DC
Co-worker #1: There’s an all-hands meeting today at 11:45.
Co-worker #2: Oh, I’m going to be busy then. Do I have to go?
Co-worker #1: Do you have hands?
4540 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Melisa
Female coworker #1: Wow, is that guy old?
Female coworker #2: Yeah.
Female coworker #1: I was wondering, since you were writing his will. He seemed all “grrrrrrr”'!
Female coworker #2: Yeah… He's married.
Utica, New York
Overheard by: Internet Meme
Coworker #1 to coworkers #2 and #3, about their attire: You guys are opposites today. Actually, you cancel each other out. You're, like, invisible! (looks around) Wh… Wh… Where'd they go?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: what a spectacle…
Worker bee: Sorry, I got my lesbian juices all over it.
200 West 7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Phone Slave
Liberal cube dweller #1: I have so much to celebrate next week. My sister's birthday and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Liberal cube dweller #2: You celebrate that?
Liberal cube dweller #1: Yes, I absolutely do.
Liberal cube dweller #2: What kind of cake do you get?
Liberal cube dweller #1: A fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I have seen the fetus cookies, but I have never seen a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #1: I'm kidding. Not about celebrating Roe v. Wade, but about having a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I'd eat a fetus cake.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: We are NOT Reception
