Employee on phone: Yeah, you know, my dad died last weekend, which is a good thing… Hey, you wanna go fishin’?
Mesa, Arizona
Employee on phone: Yeah, you know, my dad died last weekend, which is a good thing… Hey, you wanna go fishin’?
Mesa, Arizona
Female coworker: Dude. What’s with the mutton chops?
Male coworker: Just keepin’ it awesome, babe.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Concerned lady coworker: How is Ellen*? Did she find a new job yet?
Ellen’s boyfriend: No, she hasn’t even looked. Her self-esteem is really bad right now.
Concerned lady coworker: Awww — you have to tell her she’s beautiful every day.
Ellen’s boyfriend: No! I can’t do it. I won’t do it!
Concerned lady coworker: Come on, lie to her. I’m sure you’ve lied to women before.
11442 West Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Employee, about to move from a large cubicle to a much smaller one: It's like I'm going to be living in a brothel!
Coworker: I think you mean “slum.”
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: He doesn’t do anything, but he makes great presentations.
Employee #2: He gives good slide?
Employee #1: Exactly.
600 Technology Park Drive
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jeff Dietz
Female coworker #1: You can’t blow them if you’re laughing.
Female coworker #2: I guess that’s true.
Female coworker #3: Even when I blow them they keep coming back into my face. This is why you should not have bubbles at an office party!
Houston, Texas
Co-worker #1: So will you give the presentation to the new intake?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: I have made a personal lifestyle choice not to be helpful to anyone in the company.
120 Tonbridge Road
Hildenborough, Kent
UK
Male coworker #1: I've got a Mac mini in my drawer if you want one.
Male coworker #2: That's what you say to all the ladies.
Female coworker: I'm not sure that would be very effective!
Berkeley, California
Female coworker: That's it. I'm going to the store and get some tampons. I'm tired of stuffing toilet paper in me.
Charlottesville, Virginia
