Lackey #1: My buddy tells me he exercises his cock in the shower by doing curls with a wet towel.
Lackey #2: That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows the best way to do that is by flexing your chode muscle all day long.
100 Wall Street
New York, New York
Lackey #1: My buddy tells me he exercises his cock in the shower by doing curls with a wet towel.
Lackey #2: That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows the best way to do that is by flexing your chode muscle all day long.
100 Wall Street
New York, New York
Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?
Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it's Kobe beef.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Female worker, returning from bathroom: I peeked in the crack a little to see if it was occupied, and I accidentally saw vagina.
Male worker: Accidental vagina is why I failed my freshman year of college.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Receptionist: What’s that?
Worker: It’s the Phoenix Project logo.
Receptionist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Manager #1: You have got to be kidding?
Receptionist: What?
Manager #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hello?
Receptionist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Receptionist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, also, a mythological bird.
Receptionist: Named after the city?
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Guy a few cubicles down: No mom, I'm not looking at porn.
Los Angeles, California
Grunt #1: How much do you think a golf ball weighs?
Grunt #2: Over a pound, easy.
125 Corporate Office Center
Earth City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Co-worker #1: Oh my god, girl scout cookies should so be illegal.
Co-worker #2: Yes…I have five boxes on my desk as we speak!
Co-worker #1: At least with crack you lose a lot of weight.
Wichita, Kansas
Lady coworker, after hanging up: So, have you ever been called a ‘piece of shit’ by your daughter?
West 26th Street
New York, New York
Coworker in kitchen #1: Have you always had the problem, or have you changed you routine lately?
Coworker in kitchen #2: No, but I am on my knees a lot.
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
