Does It Matter That It's a Black Car?

Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It's going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.

Police Scanner
Oregon

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on December 26, 2020
Colors, Cops, Crimes, Oregon, Questions, Words

There Goes the Whole Function of Language

Businesslady: Where the hell is my charger, did I leave it at the office? I thought I put it in, but…Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to myself.
TSA lady: Well, that’s OK, Sugar. Sometimes we have to talk to ourselves because we’re the only ones who can understand.

Sky Harbor Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on December 13, 2020
Arizona, Comebacks, Cops, Philosophy, Questions, Suits, Technology

Or Every Episode Of Steven Seagal: Lawman

Supervisor: Was this class as bad I thought?
Female cop, leaving seminar, about instructor: He likes to say 'quick and dirty' way too much and the dude rambles like a drunk riding a bicycle.

Louisiana State Police Head Quarters
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: i snuck out early, too

Posted on September 19, 2020
Compare and contrast, Cops, Education, Louisiana, Questions, Words

At a Ren Faire, Definitely

Security guard: This guy comes in with an orange juice bottle of vodka every morning! Gimme a shot of that!
Nerdy office worker: Do you really think I look like an alchie? An alchemist, maybe…

Manhattan, New York

Posted on March 16, 2020
Cops, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Drinking, New York, Offers and requests, Words

You Have a Gift for Storytelling, My Friend

Security worker: The girl they adopted was a grown woman, but she was a midget.

Fishers, Indiana

Overheard by: Answer the damn phone

Posted on September 8, 2019
Age and ageing, Cops, Family, Indiana, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

…But Why Am I Telling This to a Purple Stegosaurus?

Detective #1, walking away from meeting with chief: Man,where do you come up with some of this shit?
Detective #2: There were a couple summers in the 70s when I thought LSD was a vitamin.

Manhattan, New York