Demanding colleague Give it! Give it!
Allergic colleague: (sneezes)
Demanding colleague: Um. That wasn't what I meant.
Harbor Island, Washington
Overheard by: Not unless you hid it in your nose…
Demanding colleague Give it! Give it!
Allergic colleague: (sneezes)
Demanding colleague: Um. That wasn't what I meant.
Harbor Island, Washington
Overheard by: Not unless you hid it in your nose…
Police officer (signing to the tune of Animal Crackers in My Soup): I like maggots in my soup…
Police Department
Randolph, New Jersey
CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.
CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Cop: Put the knife down, you don’t want to do this.
Depressed guy: Stay back! I’m serious I’ll do it!
Cop: Come on, put the knife down so we can talk.
Depressed guy: Stay back!
Cop, pulling out his Taser: Ok, last chance, put the knife down or I’ll Tase you!
Depressd guy: Stop, I don’t want to get hurt!
Cromwell, Connecticut
Overheard by: CT Observer
Officer #1, laughing about peeping tom suspect: I just heard that guy say that he only did it cause it was Saturday.
Officer #2: He needs to quit jacking off outside people's windows. Somebody needs to tell him he's a nasty little pervert. Did he seriously say that?
Officer #1: I swear that's what it sounded like. And even if he didn't, that's still what I'm going to tell everybody he said.
Police Department
South Louisiana
Overheard by: that's how riots get started
Mother being questioned: I don't understand why I'm here. I don't know what I did wrong.
Detective: I'm not saying it's right or wrong. But sometimes you just gotta clean your kid.
Police Station
Los Angeles, California
Cop: Where’s the chief?
Higher-up: He’s out this week. He had surgery on Tuesday.
Cop: Oh, yeah, that’s right. I heard he was having a hysterectomy.
Higher-up: Um, yeah.
Newark, Delaware
Security lady: The first thing you gotta do, you gotta kill all the witnesses.
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Animal
Head of Security: I know several of you have told me I looked familiar. Well, I used to be an undercover narcotics agent…don’t worry, I won’t name names.
550 Bowie Street
Austin, Texas
