Male security guard: You know, it sounded like a thousand golden angels gargling with melted butter.
Female security guard: More like explosive diarrhea.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Male security guard: You know, it sounded like a thousand golden angels gargling with melted butter.
Female security guard: More like explosive diarrhea.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Male security guard: Well, everything has been taken care of and everyone has been notified of the problem.
Female security guard: So our asses are covered?
Male security guard: Yes, our asses are covered.
Female security guard: But what about everyone else's asses?
Male security guard: Not a work conversation anymore.
Atlanta, Georgia
Female security to male engineer who had again forgotten ID badge: I don't know why you guys don't just put it in your pants and just leave it there!
Portland, Oregon
Police officer: He's talking to ducks.
Dispatcher: Ducks? As in quack-quack duck?
Police officer (very perky): 10-4!
Dispatcher: How many ducks is he talking to?
Police officer: Uh…just one that I can see.
Huntsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Niki
Cop: Is there any such thing as too many crackheads? I don’t think so. There are just never enough.
Academy Street
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dude
