That, and They Mess Up Your Room While You’re Sleeping

Woman: I wanted to find out the status of the investigation on my stolen bike. It happened three weeks ago, and I haven’t heard back.
Cop: Well, ma’am, we’ve been busy with the orange alert.
Woman: I’m sorry — orange alert?
Cop: Ma’am, we’re in a war.
Woman: A war?!
Cop: The war with Iraq?
Woman: … You mean the fucking Iraqis stole my bike?!

Washington, DC