Which Is Why It Can't Be the Other Guy I Slept With

Very white girl in business suit on cell in cafeteria: No, I haven't told him yet, I just found out for sure this morning. (pause) Well, I don't have his phone number anymore, I took it out of my phone so I wouldn't drunk dial. (pause) I don't know, I know his address, so maybe I'll just send him a card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby, and so are you”. (pause) Hey, maybe a singing telegram to him at work. That'll go over big. (pause) He's an elementary school teacher… that would probably get him fired. (pulls out ghetto accent) And you know my baby daddy better have hisself a job!

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on April 5, 2021
Colors, Drinking, Family, Health & Hygiene, Hiring & Firing, New Jersey, On the phone, Rich people, Weirdness

Does It Matter That It's a Black Car?

Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It's going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.

Police Scanner
Oregon

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on December 26, 2020
Colors, Cops, Crimes, Oregon, Questions, Words

…All Over My Chin

Old lady: I like them when they're big and juicy like that.
Older lady: Yeah, all dark and purpley, so good.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on December 2, 2020
Colors, Friends, New Jersey, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Republicans Are Already Drawing Harsh Comparisons to Tinky Winky

VP to manager: I mean, Barack Obama…he's much more purple than even black.

Franklin, Tennessee

Overheard by: Morgan

Posted on September 6, 2020
Bosses, Colors, Physical Appearance, Politics, Race, Tennessee

Hah! You Said “Insert”!

Girl office worker, pointing to three-ring binder: Oh! You have a pretty purple one!
Male coworker: Go ahead and take it.
Girl office worker: Oh, it?s too small. I need a big pretty purple one.
Male coworker: Insert your own joke here.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania