Bossman: Ted*, keep in mind: if you screw this up, we will beat you like a pinñata. We'll beat you till the candy comes out.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bossman Cometh
Bossman: Ted*, keep in mind: if you screw this up, we will beat you like a pinñata. We'll beat you till the candy comes out.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bossman Cometh
College girl #1: We just hung out last night.
College girl #2: Sure! (giggles) What is that? (points to friend's hair)
College girl #1: What? I still have cum in my hair!
Barnes & Noble
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Middle Manager: Snapfish is right in downtown San Francisco.
Transsexual: Hmm, maybe I should go work for them.
Middle Manager: Oh, you’d love it, they’re very diverse…They’re all young. They’re all under 40.
Transsexual: Oh, maybe I’m too old.
3404 East Harmony Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.
CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Co-worker #1: So who is this [Harold] guy?
Co-worker #2: He was hired for a job, but never showed up.
Co-worker #1: Why? Did you ever find out?
Co-worker #2: All he wanted to do was rape and pillage, but Jesus wouldn’t allow it in this establishment.
8042 South Grant Way
Littleton, Colorado
Supervisor: She always answers the phone. It’s just she forgets to talk.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Girl hanging up phone: Jeff just called and said to tell you he found it.
Aspen, Colorado
Office girl #1: I like your ring!
Office girl #2: I love this ring! I wish it had super powers! Sometimes I wanna lick it, like a Ring Pop!
Evans, Colorado
Overheard by: Liaison
Female coworker, reading out loud: “Do not exceed six tablets in a 24-hour period.” To hell with that. I'm gonna get crunk off this Pamprin!
Fort Collins, Colorado
