California

Employee #1: Have you seen the new girl?
Employee #2: No, but Fat Matt in cube 3 was just asking for some ketchup, so you better hurry!

6666 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Male bartender: Where'd you park?
Female bartender: 12th and Albany.
Male bartender: So far away? Why do you want to be raped?

Los Angeles, California

Grunt #1: Oh, man, I need a bagel. I weighed myself this morning and I’m lighter than I should be.
Grunt #2: One thirty-nine?
Grunt #1: Yeah, that’s bad… Even for me.
Grunt #3: Carbo-load.
Grunt #2: Put butter and cream cheese on the bagel.
Grunt #1: Oh my god, did you hear about the bees?
Grunt #2: No.
Grunt #1: They’re dying.
Grunt #3: Oh, yeah, I think it was Einstein that said if the bees die, you know, culture dies…
Grunt #2: Bee culture?
Grunt #1: No, like us — California culture.
Grunt #3: Performing arts?

1355 Sansome Street
San Francisco, California

Bicycle Girl: Take the 101 to the 405, and then you’ll hit Santa Monica. There are great bike trails there.
Bicycle Boy: Great. I was having trouble finding good bike trails around here.
Bicycle Girl: Yeah, there are no good trails in the Valley. You have to go by the beach or mountains. No one rides their bike in the Valley unless they’re Mexican and on their way to work.

North Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Jen

Young office dude: Did you see that I called you, like 40 times?
Young office chick: Yeah, I saw that I had stalker calls and it made me feel really special.

San Rafael, California

Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.
Dad: Um…don't worry about it.

RadioShack
California

Overheard by: SK

Assistant, about the company holiday party: Shit, I didn’t even know where I was! I had the best time!

Beverly Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue
West Hollywood, California

Accountant: Thanks for keeping it organized while I was on vacation.
Female manager: No problem. I like it anal.

Chevy Chase Drive
Glendale, California

Excited coworker: Hey, pet my pants!

San Rafael, California

Art director: Let's keep the spit in the shadows.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land