35-year-old man at post office: I'd like to buy some stamps, please.
Postal employee: Here you go. (hands him generic stamps)
35-year-old man: Do you have any stamps that are a bit… cooler?
Postal employee: What did you have in mind?
35-year-old man: I don't know… Ninjas?
Post Office
California
Overheard by: Jamie
Guest speaker: Domestic violence is hot.
Berkeley, California
Support tech on headset: Ok, so do you have the application loaded on your handheld now?
45 second pause
Support tech: Sir, sir, excuse me, sir, it was a yes or no question.
1521 Pacific Avenue
Santa Cruz, California
Lady: You know, birds squawk when they aren't getting any.
Man: Yeah, I know what you mean.
(ten minutes later)
Man: (squawking around office)
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: let there be DAVE
Coworker on phone: So, I'm trying to get on MTV, and I keep getting rejected.
San Carlos, California
Two managers are determining whether palm tree maintenance is covered in a landscape maintenance contract.
Property manager: It says ‘pruning as needed,’ but that says ‘shaving of the pineapple.’ It can’t be the same thing.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Woman #1: So we went shopping this weekend and I found the perfect dress but the chest part was too small.
Woman #2: You would think with boob jobs being so popular that they would just make tops bigger.
Woman #1: Yeah, just like SUVs.
2800 28th Street
Santa Monica, California
Attorney #1: Where’s Stew*?
Attorney #2: Getting Botoxed.
Attorney #1: Oh, god, not again.
1202 Kettner Boulevard
San Diego, California
Recruiter: So, what do you think of her qualifications?
Manager: Well, her experience looks great. I’m just not sure what a degree in English has to do with writing?
Naval Air Station North Island
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Teresa Minnich
Boss: Wow! This adhesive is really on there!
Worker: Yes, adhesive does that.
Boss: No, but it’s really, really stuck on. It’s just like…glue, yeah. Just like glue.
Worker: Adhesive is glue.
Boss: …It is just like glue.
855 Capitolio Way
San Luis Obispo, California
