Worker #1 (singing): Invoices are making me want to kill myself!
Worker #2: The voices make you want to kill yourself?
Worker #1: No! *In*voices!
Worker #2: Phew!
Century City, California
Worker #1 (singing): Invoices are making me want to kill myself!
Worker #2: The voices make you want to kill yourself?
Worker #1: No! *In*voices!
Worker #2: Phew!
Century City, California
Catholic seminary library employee: Are you going to interview Jane's friend for the position?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No, I decided she wasn't qualified enough.
Catholic seminary library employee: That's a relief.
Catholic seminary library supervisor, surprised: Why do you say that? Don't you like her?
Catholic seminary library employee: It's just that… Have you ever overheard any of their phone conversations?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No.
Catholic seminary library employee: It's like they're in a competition over who has the most intense visions of the blessed Virgin Mary. We already get enough of that shit.
California
Overheard by: bless me for I have sinned
Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time — please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack ’em! That should teach them.
Southwest flight 1911 to Oakland, California
Overheard by: Katie
Male exec: I won’t be able to be at the pitch. My grandfather died.
Female exec: Oh my God, I’m so sorry.
Male exec: It’s okay, I still have my other grandfather.
Female exec: That’s why you have two children, right? If one of them dies, you’ve still got the other one, so it’s not so sad.
Dreamworks, 100 Universal Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Shrek
Prime-time show employee #1: I am going to do some farming after this.
Prime-time show employee #2: I agree. You could use it.
CBS Television City
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: working too late
Field service tech: It also says to clean and lubricate shaft.
San Diego, California
Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum.
270 County Hospital Road
Quincy, California
Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!
Sacramento, California
Office grunt: Well, you know what they say — when the lion king roars, the cows go running.
Garey Avenue
Pomona, California
Woman wearing glasses straining to read document: Ugh! I need glasses.
San Diego, California
