HR gal: …we’re looking to see if he killed anybody, that’s all. If he killed anybody, the deal’s off.
5900 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, California
HR gal: …we’re looking to see if he killed anybody, that’s all. If he killed anybody, the deal’s off.
5900 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, California
Manager to humming receptionist: You have a nice voice.
Receptionist: Yeah?
Manager: Well, not when you talk.
Scotts Valley, California
Overheard by: Mari
Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual.
Fountain Valley, California
Attorney #1: Does anyone know why I can’t access my computer’s S drive?
Attorney #2: Oh, I know the problem. It’s an operator error!
Attorney #1: What does that mean?
Madera, California
Overheard by: Shawn
Large effeminate guy with German accent: These are the metallic pencils you do not have! (waves crayola box at employee)
Employee: Okay… Sir?
German guy: Do you know vat I am making? A portrait of Al Pacino! To really capture his manliness! Once I did a picture in charcoal but my art teacher said to really get the effect, I vould haf to burn it!
Joann's Fabrics
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: manybellsdown
Professor: A few years ago I had a student ask me for an alternative final because he had scheduled a vacation in Barcelona for the week of the final. I told him, ‘Die, yuppie scum! And no.’
Engineering building, UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: Jessica P.
Large lady, pressing wrong button in elevator: Oh, I thought I was going to the gym!
Small lady: You really need to go to the gym.
Large lady: I know.
Los Angeles, California
Boss man's phone cell on auto text-to-speech mode: Taint defense for dummies.
Baffled employee: What did you phone just say?
Silver Lake, California
Boss: I’m trying to figure out how to explain this in terms that you can understand.
Jane*: I think I get what you’re trying to say.
Male peon #1: I think I also understand what you’re trying to say.
Male peon #2: Me, too.
Boss: Let me put it this way: let’s all imagine that Jane is at the OB/GYN…
Response Road
Sacramento, California
Girl #1: He is so shallow!
Girl #2: Not at all, why would you say that?
Girl #1: ‘Cause he’s attracted to you.
3535 Monroe Drive
South Bay, California
