Therapist #1: Oh my god! Look at Britney Spears!
Therapist #2: I bet her poontang stinks.
California
Overheard by: Britney’s Got Issues
Therapist #1: Oh my god! Look at Britney Spears!
Therapist #2: I bet her poontang stinks.
California
Overheard by: Britney’s Got Issues
Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not from…those places
Coworker #1, returning from vacation: Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?
Coworker #2: No, I’ve just been chewing gum recently.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Grunt #1: So, what about the cigarette tax?
Grunt #2: I put ‘Yes.’
Grunt #1: Wait, you voted for that? Why? It’s like a 300 percent increase!
Grunt #2: Because I’m a social Darwinist! If people are gonna die, I want them to at least give money to the government first.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: I think I’m in love
Front desk: XYZ Inn*, Avery* speaking. How may I help you?
Caller: Is this the Holiday Inn?
Front desk: No, it’s the XYZ Inn.
Caller: So you’re not the Holiday Inn anymore?
Front desk: No!
Caller: Okay.
611 Ocean Street
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Crystal
Employee #1: So, we went to Long John Silver’s last night for the first time.
Employee #2: Did you bring your horse?
Employee #3: No, that was ‘Hi Ho Silver.’
Employee #2: It was?
Preston Avenue
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Still cryin
Employee #1, giving presentation: You can’t get HIV from urine. Urine is actually sterile.
Employee #2: Blood is sterile!
Employee #1: Ummm, I’m pretty sure it’s not.
Employee #2: No, blood is sterile.
Employee #3: How can blood be sterile? What about hepatitis?
Employee #2: Well, I mean, it’s sterile to you when it’s inside of you.
Employee #1: Okay, everybody, blood is sterile… unless it’s full of HIV.
Rancho Cordova, California
Female peon to another: My roommate wants me to do laundry, but I don’t know when I can do it. I’m too hung over on Saturday morning, and I have Bible study Sunday morning.
Studio City, California
Client: She said she was looking for a pen.
Attorney: And the pen was under her desk?
Client: Yes, and she’s a pack rat, and everything in the world is under her desk…
Attorney: And she got stuck that way?
Client: Yes, and we had to call security so they could drag her out by her ankles…
Attorney: I hope that was a really nice pen.
Kern County Superior Court
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Frazzled lawyer
Project lead: It’s like making a vegetarian eat a hamster.
Burton Drive
Santa Clara, California
Overheard by: Rob
