When High-Concept Office Furniture Goes Too Far

Office drone #1, shouting over cubical wall: Have you been pegged?
Office drone #2: Apparently.

New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Posted on April 18, 2008
California, Coworkers, Cubicles, Employees, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

If It Were Vanity, You Could Be Charged with a Hate Crime

Accounting peon #1: This pen leaks. I look like I killed a smurf with my bare hands.
Accounting peon #2: Which smurf?
Accounting peon #1: Jokey.
Accounting peon #2: Nice.

Westridge
Watsonville, California

Overheard by: Happens to me too.

Posted on April 10, 2008
California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Death, Default, Employees, Sensory Experiences, TV, Violence

Right After “Thou Shalt Not Let Thy Friends Go Home with Ugly People”

Underling to boss, incredulous: The lord was cock-blocking you?!
Boss: Sure! It’s in the bible!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 9, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, California, Places, Religion, Sexuality, Smart Bosses

You Probably Think This Quote Is about You

Co-worker to boss: You wanna hear how self-centered I am?
Boss: Please!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 8, 2008
Bosses, California, Coworkers, Feelings, Places, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes

Cassius Clay! You’ve Got a Point!

Clueless bible-thumper chick: Everyone should have to see “Passion of the Christ” so they wouldn’t take our Lord’s name in vain anymore. And do you notice how it’s only God’s name that they use? You never hear anyone saying “Oh, Muhammad Ali this, or Muhammad Ali that”.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Poor Jebus

Posted on April 3, 2008
Advice, California, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Default, Dumb Employees, Education, Names, Places, Religion, Religious folk

He’s Imagining a Python Swallowing a Pig

Assistant eating sub sandwich: Man, I’m full already.
Hoochie coworker: You just consumed less than four inches of that thing. Heck, I usually stuff at least a 12-inch down my throat…
Assistant: Uh, yeah, I’m definitely done now…

California

Overheard by: californiatrinity

Posted on April 1, 2008
Bimbettes, Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks

As a Freudian, He Thinks All Poontangs Stink

Therapist #1: Oh my god! Look at Britney Spears!
Therapist #2: I bet her poontang stinks.

California

Overheard by: Britney’s Got Issues

Posted on March 27, 2008
Body Parts, California, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Pop culture, Sensory Experiences

The First Californians Were Slutlers from Ohio

Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Not from…those places

Posted on March 24, 2008
California, Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Sexuality

My Psyche Is Now Fully Occupied

Coworker #1, returning from vacation: Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?
Coworker #2: No, I’ve just been chewing gum recently.

11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Posted on March 20, 2008
California, Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Questions

That’s “Socialist” Darwinist

Grunt #1: So, what about the cigarette tax?
Grunt #2: I put ‘Yes.’
Grunt #1: Wait, you voted for that? Why? It’s like a 300 percent increase!
Grunt #2: Because I’m a social Darwinist! If people are gonna die, I want them to at least give money to the government first.

UC Santa Cruz
California

Overheard by: I think I’m in love

Posted on March 19, 2008
California, Coworkers, Default, Education, Money, Politics, Questions, Smoking