Clueless bible-thumper chick: Everyone should have to see “Passion of the Christ” so they wouldn’t take our Lord’s name in vain anymore. And do you notice how it’s only God’s name that they use? You never hear anyone saying “Oh, Muhammad Ali this, or Muhammad Ali that”.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Poor Jebus
Assistant eating sub sandwich: Man, I’m full already.
Hoochie coworker: You just consumed less than four inches of that thing. Heck, I usually stuff at least a 12-inch down my throat…
Assistant: Uh, yeah, I’m definitely done now…
California
Overheard by: californiatrinity
Therapist #1: Oh my god! Look at Britney Spears!
Therapist #2: I bet her poontang stinks.
California
Overheard by: Britney’s Got Issues
Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not from…those places
Coworker #1, returning from vacation: Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?
Coworker #2: No, I’ve just been chewing gum recently.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Grunt #1: So, what about the cigarette tax?
Grunt #2: I put ‘Yes.’
Grunt #1: Wait, you voted for that? Why? It’s like a 300 percent increase!
Grunt #2: Because I’m a social Darwinist! If people are gonna die, I want them to at least give money to the government first.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: I think I’m in love
Front desk: XYZ Inn*, Avery* speaking. How may I help you?
Caller: Is this the Holiday Inn?
Front desk: No, it’s the XYZ Inn.
Caller: So you’re not the Holiday Inn anymore?
Front desk: No!
Caller: Okay.
611 Ocean Street
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Crystal
Employee #1: So, we went to Long John Silver’s last night for the first time.
Employee #2: Did you bring your horse?
Employee #3: No, that was ‘Hi Ho Silver.’
Employee #2: It was?
Preston Avenue
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Still cryin
Employee #1, giving presentation: You can’t get HIV from urine. Urine is actually sterile.
Employee #2: Blood is sterile!
Employee #1: Ummm, I’m pretty sure it’s not.
Employee #2: No, blood is sterile.
Employee #3: How can blood be sterile? What about hepatitis?
Employee #2: Well, I mean, it’s sterile to you when it’s inside of you.
Employee #1: Okay, everybody, blood is sterile… unless it’s full of HIV.
Rancho Cordova, California
Female peon to another: My roommate wants me to do laundry, but I don’t know when I can do it. I’m too hung over on Saturday morning, and I have Bible study Sunday morning.
Studio City, California
