That Explains Why Kitty Has Been Getting Home Late Every Night

Cat owner #1: So I went to the doctor yesterday, I asked him what was causing this rash on my forearms, he says, “It’s your cat”!
Cat owner #2: My cat?

Rosewood Drive
Pleasanton, California

Overheard by: Jimmybob

Posted on May 2, 2008
Animals, California, Default, Friends, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Words

Like You Should Judge, Mr “ILuvKittens5”?

Coworker #1: So what’s your e-mail address?
Coworker #2: [Gives it to him.]Coworker #1: Cool… How did you choose that?
Coworker #2: Oh, it means “big fart” in Chinese…

Santa Rosa, California

Posted on May 1, 2008
California, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Language barrier, Questions, Technology, Weirdness, Words

And What Exactly Did He Prove?

CFO: There has to be a way to gather that information.
Financial analyst: But what you are asking me to do is simply guessing. I don’t have tools to gather information that can’t be proven!
CFO: Hey! Socrates only had a stick and sand!

Fourth Street
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: dude

Posted on April 24, 2008
Bosses, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Financial Folk, Offers and requests

Unless You Wish to Enter the Ranks of Ravaged Interns

Peon #1: But you don’t drink that coffee.
Peon #2: I just want something down my throat.
Peon #1: Oh, you shouldn’t say that.
Peon #2: I mean I just want something warm down my throat.
Peon #1: You shouldn’t say that either.

Stevens Creek Boulevard
Cupertino, California

Posted on April 22, 2008
Advice, Blue Collar, California, Coworkers, Default, Drinking, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Wishes, Words

When High-Concept Office Furniture Goes Too Far

Office drone #1, shouting over cubical wall: Have you been pegged?
Office drone #2: Apparently.

New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Posted on April 18, 2008
California, Coworkers, Cubicles, Employees, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

If It Were Vanity, You Could Be Charged with a Hate Crime

Accounting peon #1: This pen leaks. I look like I killed a smurf with my bare hands.
Accounting peon #2: Which smurf?
Accounting peon #1: Jokey.
Accounting peon #2: Nice.

Westridge
Watsonville, California

Overheard by: Happens to me too.

Posted on April 10, 2008
California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Death, Default, Employees, Sensory Experiences, TV, Violence

Right After “Thou Shalt Not Let Thy Friends Go Home with Ugly People”

Underling to boss, incredulous: The lord was cock-blocking you?!
Boss: Sure! It’s in the bible!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 9, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, California, Places, Religion, Sexuality, Smart Bosses

You Probably Think This Quote Is about You

Co-worker to boss: You wanna hear how self-centered I am?
Boss: Please!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 8, 2008
Bosses, California, Coworkers, Feelings, Places, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes

Cassius Clay! You’ve Got a Point!

Clueless bible-thumper chick: Everyone should have to see “Passion of the Christ” so they wouldn’t take our Lord’s name in vain anymore. And do you notice how it’s only God’s name that they use? You never hear anyone saying “Oh, Muhammad Ali this, or Muhammad Ali that”.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Poor Jebus

Posted on April 3, 2008
Advice, California, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Default, Dumb Employees, Education, Names, Places, Religion, Religious folk

He’s Imagining a Python Swallowing a Pig

Assistant eating sub sandwich: Man, I’m full already.
Hoochie coworker: You just consumed less than four inches of that thing. Heck, I usually stuff at least a 12-inch down my throat…
Assistant: Uh, yeah, I’m definitely done now…

California

Overheard by: californiatrinity

Posted on April 1, 2008
Bimbettes, Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks