Boss reviewing Myers Briggs Type Indicator results: I am surprised by Stan’s* P-ness. [Silence.] Well, Stan’s results show that he has a slight P-ness, and I was expecting him to not have any P in him at all. [Room erupts with laughter.]
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Still Laughing Inside
Manager: It’s rainin’ like a cow peein’ on a rock.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Secretary: So, what's her husband like?
Manager: Oh, he's kind of like Mr Bean…you think he may be slightly autistic but he's still really sexually attractive.
Secretary: Uhh…
Office
Sydney
Australia
Project Manager: I can only imagine what has been coming in my box…My email box.
1137 North 26th Street
Sheboygan, Wisconsion
Overheard by: Chris O’Brien
Account manager: So I sent you that new job applicant. Have fun.
Recruiter: I just opened it up. Wow, she completely misspelled ‘Delaware State.’
Account manager: Oh, it gets worse.
Recruiter: ‘Seven years,’ with an ‘-s!’ And she spelled ‘with’ wrong!
Account manager: Yep, and she’s a detail-oriented professional.
Trolley Square
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Rhymes with Banana
Boss #1: We can use [Derek] as our field supervisor; he knows how to do the work.
Boss #2: Is he still a drunk?
Boss #1: Yeah. His wife left him.
Boss #2: He has always been a drinker.
Boss #1: So we’ll put him in charge of everything and he can run the crews. We’ll pay his expenses and give him the company truck.
Boss #2: Okay. Sounds good to me. Maybe stuff will start getting done now.
8221 NW Expressway Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.
3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Rick
Secretary: My pencil drawer is broken. It needs a new twisty nail.
Boss: Twisty nail?
Secretary: Yeah, you know, with the X-groove on top.
Boss: You mean a Phillips-head screw?
Secretary: Whatever.
118 East Whittier
St. Francis, Kansas
Female intern: Another intern?
Male manager: Yup. You're not so new anymore.
Female intern: What's his name?
Male manager: Dick.
Female intern: Really? I know a Dick.
Male manager: Do you?
Female intern: Yeah, I know like three Dicks!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: this wun guy
Luddite sales manager: What's “SSL”?
Lead developer: “Secure Socket Layer.” It's a…
Marketing manager, listening to iPod: Who's an insecure soccer player?
Software Company
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
