Coworker #1: I wasn't that drunk by that point. I mean, I was sober enough to realize that they were branding each other's asses with Christmas cookie cutters.
Boss: Sure…
Coworker #1: No, legit. Sticking the cookie cutters in the fire and branding each other's asses.
Coworker #2: Can you imagine shacking up with someone with an inverted Christmas pointing right to your pooper?
Hicksville, New York
Overheard by: Traumatized
Boss: Well, what can I say? I love my home planet.
1480 64th Street
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Boss, shouting from neighboring office: Oh my god, I love those mugshots!
Los Angeles, California
Supervisor to associate, about smell complaints: Maybe it's something in your drawers… Umm…I mean your desk drawers.
Rancho Cucamonga, California
Boss: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of me getting screwed.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
CSR, looking at small child: I want a baby, but I want it to stay small like that.
Serious manager: Well, you should have sex with a dwarf.
Washington, DC
CSR: And my four-year-old was over at the church petting zoo telling the volunteers the graveyard was full of zombies that will eat everyone's brains.
Manager: You have a cool kid.
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Smoking Break
Owner: All I can do about it is bitch, so I'll bitch. Is that okay with you?
Clerk: We haven't found a way to stop you yet, so yeah, I guess so.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFS
Boss in hallway (with hand on doorknob): Are you joining me in this conference room?
Peon: That's the closet.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: just another peon
Account Manager: Hey, do you feel like a monkey in the middle of an idiot sandwich?
Process Analyst: That would make you one of the idiots. Are you calling yourself an idiot?
Account Manager: Oh…huh?
5 minutes later.
Process Analyst: Hey, do you feel like an idiot in a monkey sandwich?
Account Manager: Ha! Now you are the idiot!
Process Analyst: No…that still makes you the idiot.
520 Guthridge Court
Norcross, Georgia
