Employee: What happens when things are damaged in transit?
VP of operations: Then it probably won't work when you get it.
Austin, Texas
Employee: What happens when things are damaged in transit?
VP of operations: Then it probably won't work when you get it.
Austin, Texas
Upper manager: Thomas* should be in, so maybe you'll be able to take a bathroom break before then.
Middle manager: Gosh, how generous of you!
Upper manager: Hey, I care about our employees (three seconds pause) and the floors in our stands.
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: GottaGo
Copywriter to purchasing manager: Why don't you celebrate birthdays?
Purchasing manager: I hate birthdays.
Copywriter: But that's how you celebrate life.
Purchasing manager: It's not the only way to celebrate life.
Copywriter: Well, how do you celebrate life?
Purchasing manager, emphasizing through gesture: Masturbate.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks Like Diva
Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!
3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee
Manager: How’s your mother?
Employee: She’s coming home tonight. They wanted to put her in a nursing home, but I said, ‘No way.’ Not at Christmas.
Manager: Doesn’t she need that level of care?
Employee: Not at Christmas, she doesn’t.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Boss: So see if you can find these people’s email addresses.
Intern: …You want me to find Desmond Tutu’s email address?
Boss: Try Google if you get stumped.
2130 H Street NW
Washington, DC
Suit: Do you have what I call a “sharpie”?
Secretary: …what you call a sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: …you and no one else?
Suit: It’s like a, a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, most people don’t know what it’s called.
Secretary: You’re kidding, right? It says it right on the pen.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes. Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call my “drawer”.
795 Spring Street
San Francisco, California
HR director to staff: Sarah Palin in a bikini with butter and Old Bay seasoning. Mmmm…
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Shaun
Boss to employee: So, will you be my secret agent in the ladies’ bathroom?
13th Street and F Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: wiretapper
Secretary: All of our customers who said they don't want our e-mails are getting them. And all of our customers who said they want them aren't getting them.
Boss: So, what's the problem?
New York City, New York
