Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!
3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee
Manager: How’s your mother?
Employee: She’s coming home tonight. They wanted to put her in a nursing home, but I said, ‘No way.’ Not at Christmas.
Manager: Doesn’t she need that level of care?
Employee: Not at Christmas, she doesn’t.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Boss: So see if you can find these people’s email addresses.
Intern: …You want me to find Desmond Tutu’s email address?
Boss: Try Google if you get stumped.
2130 H Street NW
Washington, DC
Suit: Do you have what I call a “sharpie”?
Secretary: …what you call a sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: …you and no one else?
Suit: It’s like a, a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, most people don’t know what it’s called.
Secretary: You’re kidding, right? It says it right on the pen.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes. Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call my “drawer”.
795 Spring Street
San Francisco, California
HR director to staff: Sarah Palin in a bikini with butter and Old Bay seasoning. Mmmm…
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Shaun
Boss to employee: So, will you be my secret agent in the ladies’ bathroom?
13th Street and F Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: wiretapper
Secretary: All of our customers who said they don't want our e-mails are getting them. And all of our customers who said they want them aren't getting them.
Boss: So, what's the problem?
New York City, New York
Jewish boss: By the time we’re done, we will convert you.
Catholic assistant: Ummm, Jesus is the Messiah. Goodbye.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: intern
Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me.
17 Battery Place
New York, NY
Boss: Let’s take care of that tomorrow.
Employee: Let’s as in “you and me”, or “you, me and [Kate]”, or “me and [Kate]”?
Boss: Let’s as in “you and Kate].” I shouldn’t be involved unless there’s a problem.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
