Manager to bagger: I need you to do a big favor for me… Actually, it’s not a favor so much as your job.
Food and drug store
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Manager to bagger: I need you to do a big favor for me… Actually, it’s not a favor so much as your job.
Food and drug store
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!
Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A… what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other… way. It's kind of… funny. (long pause) Am I fired?
Manhattan, New York
Assistant: Wait, it doesn’t look like the data was deleted when you opened the program.
Boss: What? I thought it was supposed to suck ’em off!
Assistant: What?
Boss: Suck ’em off! Suck ’em off until they’re empty!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Working on my resume
Boss: Call it ‘team environment,’ because I don’t like the word ‘culture.’ It reminds me of that other word. You know, what they call my church…?
Office manager: [Stares in silence.]Boss: Cult! They call it a cult.
Manitoba
Canadia
Boss: Those are pretty. Who are they from?
Secretary: Myself. Sorry men send flowers. I don’t need any sorry men in my life.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Boss to employee: Read between my lips.
Queens, New York
Overheard by: Socket
Boss: Do you receive that on paper or Excel spreadsheet?
Employee: I receive it on electronical format.
285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sam
Editor: A 35-year-old woman died, and when her family went to clean out her apartment they found three fetuses in the freezer.
Producer: Were they pre-term fetuses or post-term fetuses?
Reporter: Uh, those would be called ‘babies.
Murfreesboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: lp’s habit
Employee: I worked 12 hours over this month, so I have some comp time on the books. I need to use 30 minutes of that tomorrow so I can leave a little early to go to the doctor.
Boss: Well, I don’t think that’s going to work. There are only 5 other people here that afternoon, and I am taking a two hour lunch tomorrow.
1600 Charleston Avenue
Mattoon, Illinois
