Tough Pregnancy, Al?

Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.

Woodlands, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2015
Body Parts, Cinema, Employees, Family, Texas, Violence

Can I Interest You in Our Conversion Kit?

Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!

Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio

Posted on April 3, 2015
Body Parts, Colors, Customers, Ohio, On the phone, Race, Sales, Weirdness

Just Change Your Mousepad and Get Back to Work

Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?

Dallas, Texas

Posted on March 29, 2015
Accidents, Body Parts, Bosses, Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Money, Texas

Raise Your Hand If This'd Be the Highlight Of Your Day

Moderately surprised office person: Huh? A fly just flew up my nose!
Barely interested office person: Is that right?
Moderately surprised office person: Yeah! It was buzzing around and went right in my nose!
Barely interested office person: That must have been surprising.
Moderately surprised office person: It was!
Barely interested office person: I have some dead flies in some vinegar over here.

Melville, New York

Overheard by: Just buzzing

Posted on March 27, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Coworkers, Death, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions

Don't We All, Sir?

Male CSR: I want a big meaty Italian.

San Diego, California

Posted on March 27, 2015
Body Parts, California, Customer Service, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

But It's Free, So Let's Stock Up!

Large GSR #1: That food stinks!
Larger GSR #2: I know, I can smell it with my mouth!

Charleston, South Carolina

Posted on March 26, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, South Carolina

And the Occasional Puppetry, Of Course.

Man on phone: I'm having surgery next week. (pause) I'm having penis enlargement surgery. (pause) Yeah, but I don't really use mine much anymore. It's good for taking a whiz, and that's about it.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on March 26, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Utah, Weirdness

Well, She Is Dangerously Cheesy Already

Coworker #1: Oh, God, Cheetos. I love that Cheetos dust that gets on your fingers.
Coworker #2: Yeah, me, too. I wish they sold just that. I'd buy it and put it on baked potatoes.
Coworker #1: I'd buy it and put it on my wife.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Mu