Coworker to another, attempting to fix jam in the copier: I swear, Ed, you get more done with your mouth than you do your hands!
Seattle, Washington
Coworker to another, attempting to fix jam in the copier: I swear, Ed, you get more done with your mouth than you do your hands!
Seattle, Washington
Systems admin to office manager: And she didn't tell me he was coming up right behind her!
Sales assistant, walking through the room: I didn't know he was going to follow me! One minute he was in his office talking about roosters and the next minute he's standing behind me at your desk! He was sneaky!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales rep on phone: I haven't done either, but I think that skiing would be easier.
Assistant: I don't know, I think I'd have a hard time keeping my legs together.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: PJ
Movie studio art director answering phone: Okay, how about this… “Dear America, grow a fucking pair of balls. Thank you.” Bye. (hangs up)
Santa Monica, California
CSR: I really hate it when customers are named that.
Supervisor: What?
CSR: ‘Dick.’ [Giggles] Because then I have to say that…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Boss, singing to well-known Disney tune: One day… My prince will come! …And stick it up my bum…
Birkenhead
England
Overheard by: No longer a Disney fan
Office drone who brought dog to work: Oh, there you go again! Nosing into my drawers. You know there's a treat in there for you. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Yes, you are! You are! Go ahead, just push your nose way in there and find that treat. I just love it when you visit at the office with us!
Louisville, Kentucky
Older female colleague #1: Hey, here's the prizes you won in the raffle the other night.
Older female colleague #2: Oh, thanks. Do you want to keep the bubble bath?
Older female colleague #1, not bothering to lower her voice: Oh. No, thanks. It makes me itch down below.
Older female colleague #2: Oh. (pause) I see.
St. Peter Port
Guernsey
Overheard by: A simple
Manager: I hate my new badge picture. It makes me look like I have a fat head.
Employee: But you do have a fat head.
Manager: I know that. I just don’t want to advertise it to the whole world.
610 Gateway Drive
North Sioux City, South Dakota
Young drone on cell: We were talking about my shirts and how my butt crack hangs out, then Mae* pulled on my shirt and ripped it… So yeah, that's what happened.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
