You Had Us at “Cake Balls.”

Underling to boss, about baking cake balls: So yeah, you put your balls in the fridge, cause otherwise they get kinda sweaty.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Deena

Posted on November 9, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Texas

The Next Internet Success Story

Customer, in clown makeup on Halloween: I'm so drunk right now I don't even care about my big, green twat lips.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: intrigued

Posted on November 7, 2015
Body Parts, Clothes, Colors, Compare and contrast, Customers, Drinking, Texas

I Once Did a Gin Marathon, Though.

Office worker: I ran 16 miles last night.
Rep: You ran 16 miles… I ran for 12 minutes. Does that count?
Office worker: I am training for a marathon. I came home at 10 pm last night and my knees were all bloody.
Rep: Oh, did you fall?
Office worker: Yeah, twice.
Rep: And you kept on running?
Office worker: Yeah.
Rep: The only thing coming out of my veins is booze!

Buffalo, New York

Posted on November 1, 2015
Accidents, Admins, Body Parts, New York, Physical Appearance, Substance Use & Abuse

This, for Example, Appears to be a Videotape from the Reagan Years

New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.

375 Hudson Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on October 25, 2015
Body Parts, Family members, Health & Hygiene, New York, Places

4PM Smoke Break

Soldier #3 has a glass eye. It is out of his head and lying on the desk.

Soldier #1: Hey [John], let’s go have a smoke.
Soldier #2: Alright. [Places cigarette in mouth and walks toward door.] Soldier #3: Hey dumbass, you’re inside! Get that fuckin’ cigarette out of your mouth!
Soldier #2: Hey Blackbeard, get a fuckin’ eye in your head!

Building 2411-B
Fort Eustis, Virginia

Overheard by: SGT Grier

Posted on October 22, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Offers and requests, Southeast, The Military, Virginia

Also How South America Decided to Add Chile

Communications chick: I know it's kinda long, but I feel like it should be in there.

Canton, Massachusetts

Posted on October 16, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Weirdness

If You Unfocus Your Eyes Just Right, You Can See One of Those ‘Magic’ Pictures

Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.

Balboa Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby

Posted on October 11, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, California, General Idiocy, Gripes, Physical Appearance, Places

Wouldn't You Also Need a Harness?

Older office lady to another: Oh, that's right, because they couldn't get the shaft to fit my hole…but if you got me the right cable, and put a little tension on it…yeah, I could probably do it upright.

Marquette Ave
Minneapolis, Minnesota