Copywriter (after watching a 1980s video on YouTube): YouTube is my fountain of youth.
Graphic designer: Young boys are mine.
Sex Toy Factory
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
Copywriter (after watching a 1980s video on YouTube): YouTube is my fountain of youth.
Graphic designer: Young boys are mine.
Sex Toy Factory
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
IT woman #1: How do you work this thing?
IT guy #1: What is it? An iPod?
IT woman #1: Yeah, I’m trying to restart it but I don’t know how.
IT guy #3: Ctrl, alt, delete!
IT woman #1: Don’t any of you have iPods to help me out?
IT guy #2: I’ll call my kids.
Maersk Offices
Algate, London
Associate: It's my birthday today!
Receptionist: Oh, it's my little sister's birthday too, she's turning one.
Associate: Oh, that's cute. Is she your mum's first child?
Sydney
Australia
Office guy #1: Dude, you’re making me nervous with that letter opener.
Office guy #2: Why’s that?
Office guy #1: Because you look like you played too much Dungeons & Dragons back in the day.
18 Adam & Eve Mews
London, England
Woman #1: Maybe it fell out because her vagina had no…tone.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #3: Right, no Kegel’s.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Right, you are supposed to do Kegel’s all day.
Woman #2: Since when?
Woman #1: From when you are 20. Or have a lot of sex.
Woman #3: I’d rather have a lot of sex than do Kegel’s, but I do them, too.
Woman #2: What? My vagina is fine without either one. Don’t tell my husband that, either.
Woman #3: You’ll be sorry when you are older.
Woman #1: You never did Kegel’s? We used to have contests at my other job.
Only man in the meeting walks in.
Woman #2: Well! What do men have to do?
Woman #3, smiling sweetly: Nothing. Men are perfect.
Bergen County, New Jersey
Chatty IT guy: He's 94 years old. Who cares if he's a heroin addict?
Kansas City, Missouri
Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.
Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe
Coworker, about baby that she brought to office: Oh, she's three months old.
Random office worker: Do you have other children?
Coworker: Yes. Two. Both older.
Tallahassee, Florida
50-year-old secretary to another: You know, if you need a uterus, you can have mine. It's all flappy and old.
Middle School
Larchmont, New York
Overheard by: Lil' Bill
Retirement aged worker #1: Hi, little buddy.
Retirement aged worker #2: I'm not your little buddy!
Retirement aged worker #1: I know you're not! You're an old goat!
Retirement aged worker #2, thrusting pelvis towards #1: If I'm a goat, then suck it and get some milk!
Naval Base
Point Mugu, California
Overheard by: bubbles
