Employee #1: My stepdaughter won over $2000.
Employee #2: What's she gonna do with all that money? She should put it towards college!
Employee #1: She's 13 and a redneck. She ain't goin' to college. Plus, she's fine, so she just needs to find her a good lookin' redneck with lots of money, and she'll be set.
Shreveport, Louisiana
Coworker: It doesn't have to work, we just have to do something!
Manhattan, New York
Manager, training new employees: So… Sexual harassment. Just don't do it.
Dreadlocked newbie: What about dry humping behind the butcher counter?
Escondido, California
Overheard by: This is a health food store…
20-something woman to 50-something coworker: If you didn't want to be so old, you shouldn't have been born so long ago.
Melbourne
Australia
Coworker to another: Don't trust him, he's evil and Singaporean. Double trouble!
Sydney
Australia
Boss on phone: You're not going to die. Canada's not that much.
Chicago, Illinois
Programmer #1: Never trust a fuckin' midget.
Programmer #2: Oh, yeah? Well, never trust a fuckin' fag who's sworn off fuckin'.
Memphis, Tennessee
26-year-old virgin to cubicle neighbor: So, my windshield has been leaking all around the edge, like that rubber seal thing is cracked.
Coworker, loud enough for whole office to hear: You just need some caulk! (pause) Both kinds…
Sea-Tac, Washington
Boss to peon: I think you should be in charge of figuring this out so we can blame you if it all blows up.
Peon: I'm not really comfortable with that approach.
Boss: I think you should learn to work with a lesser degree of comfort.
Washington, DC
Director on phone with client: You need to complete a survey to assess your facility's readiness for the next stage of this project. Just don't think your answers will have any impact on the final decision.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
