Advice

Office girl #1: Man, I’m really bored. I know what we should do… [Looks around] Aw, we don’t have any glue, do we?
Office girl #2, confused and horrified: Um…

610 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon

VP: We learn much faster when there is a gun to our head.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Warehouse manager: Anyone seen Joe*?
Office manager: I don’t know where he is. He sent me an email at 2:03, so he’s at a computer somewhere.
Sales guy: I haven’t seen him in a while.
Office manager: I bet he went home and he’s sending these emails from the web-mail!
Assistant: No, I went out to the warehouse not long ago and passed him on my way out there. He didn’t look very happy though.
Sales guy: Why don’t you bake him a birthday cake?
Assistant: But it’s not his birthday!
Sales guy: It doesn’t matter. Birthday cakes make everyone feel better.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Cube monkey, looking at silly string: Aw, fuck it, let’s just piss on him!

29305 Orchard Lake Road
Farmington Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Ron

Sales guy: The best place to call for help is Support.

301 Rockrimmon Boulevard
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Mystified

Office girl #1: Is there a shortcut to delete something in excel?
Office girl #2: Just hit delete.
Office girl #1: Yeah but you know how Control-c is copy and Control-v is paste.
Office girl #2: Well there is an actual delete button.
Office girl #1: No, I know -I am just trying to save time.
Office girl #2: Well hitting two buttons is not going to be quicker than hitting one.
Office girl #1: I know -but it’s a shortcut, you know?
Office girl #2: Google it.

Corporate Pointe
Culver City, California

Overheard by: Lyn

DBA: You’re going to have to be more explicit when you say what you don’t mean.

33rd floor, 1250 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Charliegator

Gay admin: I’m thinking of taking a gym class at a community college next quarter. What do you think I should take?
Straight admin: Badminton. Yep, definitely badminton. That’s nice and gay.

Sunnyvale, California

CSR on phone: If the item you need to return doesn’t fit back in the box, maybe you could snip off the edges to make it fit. Either way it will all get back to our warehouse.

225 Bush Street
San Francisco, California

Male coworker: The KFC double down chicken sandwich is just one those things you have to try.
Female coworker: It's unhealthy and looks disgusting!
Male coworker: It's like streaking: just one of those things you have to do in college.

Washington, DC