Woman holding inhaler: So I just cock it and suck on it?
Nurse: You might not want to put it just that way.
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Woman holding inhaler: So I just cock it and suck on it?
Nurse: You might not want to put it just that way.
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Boss to underling: Warren Buffet didn't get rich being a bitch.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…
45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Lans
Guy: It took me two hours to shovel my driveway this morning.
Girl: Why don't you get a snow blower?
Guy: Because they're expensive.
Girl: Why don't you split it with your neighbor? Then you could take turns blowing each other.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: shovel buddy
Secretary #1: I am so cold I can't type.
Secretary #2: Wear your gloves.
Secretary #1: I can do a lot of things in leather, but typing isn't one of them.
Seattle, Washington
Functionally retarded janitor: This job really needs some strippers.
Engineer: You could get a night job at a strip club.
Functionally retarded janitor: But those places fire you when you try to touch the girls.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: This Company Needs to Do Better Background Checks
Service Manager: Really, you have to stop bring these back to me.
Office chick: No, you just need to do them right in the first place.
215 US Route 1
Falmouth, Maine
Metro driver: Please do not lean on the doors. If you lean on the doors they will break, and we will have to offload everyone from this train. And god knows we have had enough problems lately.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Rider
Office drone: You need to shake it… to get every last bit out of it.
Durango, Colorado
Cube rat: They need to have some kind of alien baby hanging off the front page…
Golden, Colorado
Overheard by: Peon
