Accountant using secretary's copier: Yeah, I guess you can slide in there and make a copy.
Partner, overhearing: Slide? The electric slide?
(secretary groans)
Partner: What, is that like the worst dance ever?
Secretary: Yeah. 'cuz at least the chicken dance is, like, fun.
Partner: That, and it makes sense, because y'know, that's how chickens dance! (demonstrates by flapping)
Manhattan, New York
System manager: Anyone who touches my calculator limps all day!
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: Okay [Megan], you’re going to do all the work and I’m going to go get drunk.
Admin: Okay.
Boss: Oh, why was I born? I should’ve married rich.
Admin: Rich who?
99 Wall Street
New York, NY
Admin: What time is it in France?
Worker: I think it’s February.
Admin: Really?
3239 Satellite Boulevard
Duluth, Georgia
Boss: If the phone rings, and I'm still here…
Secretary: You're not here?
Boss: Right. I don't care if it's Carmen Electra calling for an emergency titty-fuck.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Boss: So why aren't they meeting their targets?
Project manager: The original estimates assumed attrition, and they haven't had any. (awkward pause) Except death.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Admin #1, assembling Christmas tree: It's fine, it just needs to be fluffed.
Admin #2: Well, I designate you the official office fluffer.
Admin #1: That's my job at home, too. Making sure it's all fluffed and full.
Fontana, California
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Irate black secretary, getting off phone: Damn bill collectors, always asking for me by my full name. Know he didn't know me either, cause none of my friends call me Patricia, and he sounded white. Lord knows that I don't have any white friends.
One Penn Plaza, Manhattan
Overheard by: The white guy who thought he was a friend
