New assistant: Where do we put the paper for the outgoing faxes?
Vancouver
Canadia
New assistant: Where do we put the paper for the outgoing faxes?
Vancouver
Canadia
Professor on phone: Do you know if Diane is right or left handed?
Office administrator: Ummm… I have no idea, why?
Professor on phone: Because I'm trying to figure out who left me this note.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Tilla
Accountant using secretary's copier: Yeah, I guess you can slide in there and make a copy.
Partner, overhearing: Slide? The electric slide?
(secretary groans)
Partner: What, is that like the worst dance ever?
Secretary: Yeah. 'cuz at least the chicken dance is, like, fun.
Partner: That, and it makes sense, because y'know, that's how chickens dance! (demonstrates by flapping)
Manhattan, New York
System manager: Anyone who touches my calculator limps all day!
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: Okay [Megan], you’re going to do all the work and I’m going to go get drunk.
Admin: Okay.
Boss: Oh, why was I born? I should’ve married rich.
Admin: Rich who?
99 Wall Street
New York, NY
Admin: What time is it in France?
Worker: I think it’s February.
Admin: Really?
3239 Satellite Boulevard
Duluth, Georgia
Boss: If the phone rings, and I'm still here…
Secretary: You're not here?
Boss: Right. I don't care if it's Carmen Electra calling for an emergency titty-fuck.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Lauren
Boss: So why aren't they meeting their targets?
Project manager: The original estimates assumed attrition, and they haven't had any. (awkward pause) Except death.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Admin #1, assembling Christmas tree: It's fine, it just needs to be fluffed.
Admin #2: Well, I designate you the official office fluffer.
Admin #1: That's my job at home, too. Making sure it's all fluffed and full.
Fontana, California
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
