Engineer #1: Can I borrow these probes?
Engineer #2: Are you going to bring them back?
Engineer #1: Yeah, sure.
Engineer #2: Probes never come back. There’s like a probe-hole somewhere. Like the same place socks go in the laundry.
Engineer #1: … Did you just say ‘probe-hole’?
Engineer #2: Ummm… Yes.
Rochester, New York
Boss: Don't forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Whiny cube dweller: But I just really enjoy my sausage in the morning, ya know?
Coburg, Oregon
Executive: Are you making jokes about my weight again?
Assistant: No, I always call you “The big g”. The “g” stands for “goodness”.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Interviewer, during phone interview: Do you have any experience with suppository management?
Cupertino, California
Office Manager: How do you spell “Useta”?
Co-worker: Use it in a sentence.
Office Manager: I “useta” drink Cokes; now I only drink water.
Co-worker: That is an Arkansas word.
1700 Westpark Drive
Little Rock, Arkansas
20-something female coworker, about guy he's met online: He's so smart. He uses real sentences, with real words, with real punctuation!
Grandview Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Rich Hamburglar
Director: It’s one of those chicken-before-the-horse things.
925 4th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Blaque Mackintosh
Woman on phone: I really wanna get you off tonight. [Pause] No, I mean call your manager and see if they need you to come in! Shut up, stop laughing!
Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: sneaky pete
