Black woman, before an interview: I’ll let you do the talkin’, ’cause you’re a code cracker.
White dude: … What?!
Black woman: You know — you can read between the lines and figure out if she’s telling the truth.
White dude: I thought you just called me a ‘cold crackah’!
SW Grapevine Parkway
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: The real cold cracker
Employee: Computer is just a fancy word for “solitaire machine.”
10 Brookline Place
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overly gay coworker: Oh. My. God. Why are you not answering your phone? I've had the same call ring back to me three times.
Coworker: Okay, you're gonna need to turn down the homosexuality, because all I'm hearing is, “blah blah blah, I'm such a fag, blah blah blah.”
Maryville Centre
St. Louis, Missouri
Office drone #1: Tomorrow we need to talk about that thing we were going to talk about last week but didn't because of the other thing.
Office drone #2: Right.
Office drone #3: You could have just called. Now we're all sitting here wondering and guessing what that mystery message is about.
Office drone #1: Oh, you're fine.
Office drone #3: Damn right! 24/7!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…
Female employee #1: You wouldn't believe the number of loan apps on my desk today–it's brutal.
Female employee #2: Yeah, it's either fast or famine around here…fast or famine.
Albany, New York
VP: Communication: it’s hard to spell, so it must be hard to do.
1 Railroad Avenue
Cooperstown, New York
Manager: Alyssa calls burritos “burros.” What's the difference? I've always heard it called “burrito.” What do you call it?
Graphic artist and authentic Mexican: “Taco grande.”
Web designer and office coquette: That was my nickname in high school.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
Blonde coworker: Hey, how do you spell “lit”?
Bemused coworker: “Lit”? Like “lit” a fire?
Blonde coworker: Yeah.
Alameda, California
