Boss: There is chocolate over here. Someone brought in chocolate.
Underling: What? What kind? From where?
Boss: It's Perugina, from Italy, my favorite.
Underling: Oh, no thanks. I don't eat anything that ends in -gina.
Baltimore, Maryland
Boss: There is chocolate over here. Someone brought in chocolate.
Underling: What? What kind? From where?
Boss: It's Perugina, from Italy, my favorite.
Underling: Oh, no thanks. I don't eat anything that ends in -gina.
Baltimore, Maryland
Kindergarten boy: Mrs. Jones*, I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: No, you just went.
Kindergarten boy: Please, Mrs. Jones*. I gotta go.
Teacher: No, you were told you had to wait.
Kindergarten boy: But I have to go now! My marbles are itchy!
Manitoba
Canadia
Woman on intercom: David*, to the back office. David*, to the back office, please.
David*on intercom: No, I don't want to. No, I don't want to.
Kinko's
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: The Flying Aspidistra
Office drone, about son's sports team: Those are the easiest balls to get on top of.
Hawthorne, New York
Accountant: Thanks for keeping it organized while I was on vacation.
Female manager: No problem. I like it anal.
Chevy Chase Drive
Glendale, California
Excited coworker: Hey, pet my pants!
San Rafael, California
Coworker on phone: Fool me once, shame on… you. (pause) Fool me… the second one is where it’s my fault.
Thurston Avenue
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
Co-worker #1: Do you know how to do a three-way?
Co-worker #2: Huh?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, [Mario] wants me to do a three-way with him and [Tod] to discuss the proposal.
Co-worker #2: You mean a three-way call, then.
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
Co-worker #2: Oh, well, no I don’t, but I’m sure [Sarah] can show you.
W134 N8675 Executive Parkway
Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Dude
Sales rep on phone: Okay, so that’s V as in ‘voluptuous,’ A as in ‘anatomy,’ N as in ‘nutrition…’
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
