Mail guy: Okay, that's the last I want to see of your chest.
Manhattan, New York
Mail guy: Okay, that's the last I want to see of your chest.
Manhattan, New York
CSR #1: I don't think I can carpool with Meg* anymore.
CSR #2: Why?
CSR #1: Well, Meg* either doesn't know how to wipe her ass properly or she decides to let a ripper go right before I get in her car. Either way, it's just too much to deal with.
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Wooderson
Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…
CSM, on holiday preparations: My family makes me want to smuggle drugs in my ass.
Hailey, Idaho
Coworker dissing fire-making skills on Survivor: I would learn to light a fire before I went. I would have to stick the matches up my cooch.
Portland, Oregon
Disheveled cashier to customer buying towels: So I said to my daughter, “No, you can't have another towel. When you come out of the shower you are clean, so you can just keep using that same towel until next month.”
Wal-Mart
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Lindsey B
Worker at desk, startled when colleague walks by: Oh! You scared me! I thought you were a rubber band!
Bridge Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: JRH
Boss: Don't forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Reporter: Dude, her tweets were all over my site. And they weren't even relevant!
Palo Alto, California
Male employee, leaving bathroom: Be careful in there. I just gave birth to a little brown man!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Gagging Uncontrollably
