Boss: And I would bet my… um… pencil, on that. Wait… what do they say?
Grad student: Ass. You'd bet your ass on that.
Boss: Oh, no. I don't want to bet that. I'll bet my favorite pencil.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Boss: And I would bet my… um… pencil, on that. Wait… what do they say?
Grad student: Ass. You'd bet your ass on that.
Boss: Oh, no. I don't want to bet that. I'll bet my favorite pencil.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Male boss to female employee: Hey, did you get all that done?
Female employee: Yep, just finished.
Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You're not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!
Female employee: Uh… Okay.
Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)
Bellingham, Washington
Agitated American Apparel cashier to another: Listen, if you're going to borrow my bodysuit, you have to wear a hygienic pad!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Office lady: I’m off to the bathroom! I couldn’t get the poop du jour out before work this morning!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: please hold while I alert the media
Hostess: I once gave everyone in my restaurant an Adderall. We had never been more efficient!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Manager to coworker in next office: Why does it smell like rotten meat in here?
Coworker: Oh, sorry. I'll put my shoes back on.
Chicago, Illinois
Guy on cell in building lobby: Yeah, I googled it, and you can buy straitjackets online.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jennifer
Cube dweller: I can't discipline my children, they don't listen to me.
Boss: Nothing better than spanking a wet, naked ass.
Peabody, Massachusetts
Bipedal co-worker: I don't have enough legs for that!
England
