9AM Another Week Begins

Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.

1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California

Posted on November 4, 2022
California, Death, Engineers, General Idiocy, Violence, Writers and Editors

…Planning to Finish That Sandwich?

Coworker #1: You ever fucked a girl so hard she bled?
Coworker #2: Nah, but I've seen it.
Coworker #1: You've seen it?!
Coworker #2: Yeah, I walked in on my mate and this girl.
Coworker #1: And you stayed around long enough to see that she was bleeding?!
Coworker #2: Well, it was my turn next.

England

Posted on October 19, 2022
Coworkers, England, Questions, Sexuality, Violence

…That's Almost a Good As Knowing an Idol Contestant!

Office lady #1: Did you hear? My buddy shot and killed someone Monday night.
Office lady #2: Uh, what?
Office lady #1: Yep, my buddy Tex! (scurries over to pick up newspaper to proudly show)
Office lady #2: Wow. That's a bit strange.
Office lady #1: I know. Now I know someone that killed somebody!

Jacksonville, Florida

Posted on October 3, 2022
Coworkers, Crimes, Death, Florida, General Idiocy, Violence, Weirdness

Let Me Just Wipe This Off for You…

Crazy IT girl: Do you have a knife? If anybody in here had a knife, it would be you.
Crazy IT guy: Serrated or flat?

Merrimack, New Hampshire

Posted on September 30, 2022
Crazies, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Questions, Tech People, Violence, Weirdness

And He'd Only Hold the Bus Driver at Knifepoint Some Of the Time

Female coworker, about current object of infatuation: Oh…he is so cute, you have to see him. I just love him. I will bring in his mugshot.
Male coworker: He has a mugshot?
Female coworker: Yeah, but he only beats his girlfriends when he is on drugs. He is so sweet. He used to save me a seat on the bus when we were in school.

Mountville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mindy

Posted on September 6, 2022
Coworkers, Crimes, Feelings, Pennsylvania, Physical Appearance, Substance Use & Abuse, Violence, Weirdness

If You Suggest the Concept Of “Sombrero Fridays” One More Time

Manager: One of these days, I'm gonna stuff you with candy… I'm gonna hang you by your toes and beat you like a piñata.

Washington, DC

Posted on August 23, 2022
Bosses, Meals and Snacks, Violence, Washington DC, Weirdness

It’ll Use the ‘Eponymous Rage’ Defense at Its Trial

Frustrated employee: I’m gonna build a robot named Microchip, and it’s going to look like a microchip and it’s going to kill people.

1025 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: D

Posted on July 12, 2022
Colorado, Crazies, Technology, Violence

And Susan Was Maimed. Isn’t That Great?

Boss: I wouldn’t even be able to kill myself right today. I’d screw it up.
Employee: If it makes you feel better I knocked myself unconscious this weekend.
Boss: Yeah, actually, it does.

323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan

Overheard by: Pam Beasley

Posted on May 25, 2022
Bosses and Underlings, Death, Gripes, Michigan, Violence

Is Our Children Fighting?

Professor #1: What's going on out there?
Professor #2: It's either a gang fight or a game of Red Rover.

College
West Virginia

Overheard by: Professor 3

Posted on May 7, 2022
Pop culture, Questions, Teachers, Technology, Violence, West Virginia

Which I Should Not Have Done at Milking Time

Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I'd cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.

Warren, Michigan

Overheard by: Scared for my tits

Posted on May 6, 2022
Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, Drinking, Michigan, Threats, Violence

Violence