Receptionist: That goes on my to-do list right below having sex with a midget.
Madison, South Dakota
Receptionist: That goes on my to-do list right below having sex with a midget.
Madison, South Dakota
Co-worker #1: Hey, come in here for a sec!
Co-worker #2: Can it wait a second? I’m trying to finish this by lunch.
Co-worker #1: Never mind; it’s just fart noises.
712 South McClintock Drive
Tempe, Arizona
CSR: Is Mike there?
Man: Do you know what day it is?
CSR: What does that have to do with anything?
Man: Well it’s Sunday!
CSR: I know that! Can I talk to Mike?
Man: No it’s Sunday and he isn’t alive on Sunday because he’s a vampire!
375 Ghent Road
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: No Longer Employed
Security guard: Um, we have a problem here.
Traveler: And what might that be?
Security guard: Do you have any other form of identification? Your driver’s license is expired.
Traveler: No, it’s not… this is 2006.
Security guard: You may pass.
General Mitchell Airport
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Feeling Secure
Loopy accounting manager: Now that I've flipped my calendar, I need to reconsider my cottage cheese…
California
Account manager: Do you get the monthly reports and messages?
Office worker: No, I don’t get anything. I’m so lonely.
409 Prospect Street
New Haven, Connecticut
Smoker #1: Hey, I didn’t know you smoked. When did you start smoking?
Smoker #2: About four years ago, right after my wife left me. It gives me something else to do with my hands.
Kokomo, Indiana
Salesperson: When do you need these parts? ASAP or as soon as possible?
630-2 Broadway Avenue
Holbrook, New York
Rep 1: The salon across the way, their back door is wide open, but they’ve been closed for hours. What should we do?
Rep 2: Call the police. The non-emergency number, I’d say.
Rep 1: Okay… er, what’s the non-emergency number for 911?
Scatterfield Road
Anderson, Indiana
Overheard by: Oh, the pain…
Employee: I have a few questions about wrapping up this project.
Supervisor: Great. Set up a meeting, I’m free all day.
Employee: How’s 11AM this morning?
Supervisor: I can’t make it then.
1111 Chester Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
