Supervisor: Do it my way, or else I'll have your head on a pike! And I don't mean a spear, I mean the fish!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: peon
Supervisor: Do it my way, or else I'll have your head on a pike! And I don't mean a spear, I mean the fish!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: peon
IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.
North Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah Connor
Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.
Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania
Female coworker: I will break you. I will bend you right over this desk.
Alexandria, Virginia
Coworker on phone: If you ever do that again, I'm gonna spank your ass.
Calgary
Canadia
Analyst to another, about leftovers from office picnic: Did you grab your meat? Cause if you didn't, you're SOL.
Arnold, Missouri
Sassy receptionist: You are going straight to hell with gasoline drawers!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
