Threats

He’s #1, Obviously

Supervisor #1: I am here to give you a hard time.
Supervisor #2: Take a number.

2 Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 10, 2014
Bosses, Comebacks, Illinois, Threats

I've Had Just About Enough Of Your Fowl Behavior.

Boss to HR: You do that again and I'll stick my finger in your chicken.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: TravisPeriod

Posted on July 12, 2011
Body Parts, Bosses, California, Meals and Snacks, Threats, Weirdness

Don't Worry, I Practice Safe Sectoring

IT to VP: Okay, I'm going to wipe your device now!

Durango, Colorado

Posted on July 6, 2011
Colorado, Possible Sexual Harassment, Tech People, Threats, Weirdness

I'm Way Ahead Of You, Doc

Psychiatrist : I'm going to beat you so hard that you flatulate yourself!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 27, 2011
Doctors, Massachusetts, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

That's How the Government Works, Ma'am

Coworker on the phone: So let me get this straight. You have my money so you don't give a shit.

Oldwick, New Jersey

Posted on March 23, 2011
Coworkers, Money, New Jersey, On the phone, Threats

What? It's Sterile!

Manager on phone with customer service: If they shit on me, I'll piss on them.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Cue

Posted on September 29, 2010
Bosses, Canadia, Customer Service, Office Politics, On the phone, Restroom, Threats

Jean-Claude Van Damme Has Had Difficulty Holding Down a Normal Job

Annoyed shop assistant, after difficult customer has left: That guy is going straight on my enemies list.
Manager: One for the firing squad, eh?
Annoyed shop assistant: Blood in the streets…
Manager: Yeah, let's purge that son of a bitch.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 27, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, England, Insults, Threats, Violence

…Aaaand Send!

Frustrated office dweller: Die, die, die! Poke you in the eye!

West Perth
Australia

Overheard by: IT Guru

Posted on September 17, 2010
Australia, Death, Employees, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

Isn't This a Passage in the Bible?

Programmer #1: But I'd have a justified reason to kill you.
Programmer #2: Huh?
Programmer #1: You punched a kitten.

Adelaide
Australia

Posted on August 16, 2010
Animals, Australia, Coworkers, Crimes, Death, Tech People, Threats, Violence

The Mary Poppins Director's Cut Is Disturbing, to Say the Least

Sales exec: I will beat you to death with your own umbrella.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on June 28, 2010
Crimes, Death, Executives, Indiana, Sales, Threats