Large woman: You just watch out. I’m going to come over there and squeeze you the way they squeeze me.
30th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Large woman: You just watch out. I’m going to come over there and squeeze you the way they squeeze me.
30th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Manager roaming the halls: I want to hurt somebody.
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Dave
Manager: Just because I’m a manager they are treating me like I can’t be a customer! I wanted to put something on hold and they said, ‘No, that’s for customers.’ I have a key to this bitch! I’ll be all up in here ringing that shit up myself.
Valley Stream, New York
Overheard by: J-Face
Clerk behind counter: Has anyone given you anything to carry on or placed anything in your bags that you aren’t aware of?
Passenger: How would I know?
American Airlines Terminal
Kennedy Airport, New York
Overheard by: Paul V.
Engineer: If he's turning 30 and only brought in a dozen doughnuts, I'm going to kick him in the nuts!
Cambridge
Canadia
Overheard by: Ouch!
Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.
12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Customer squinting at ‘No cell phones’ sign: Why do we have to turn off our cell phones? What happens if you use them in the tanning bed?
Tanning consultant: You’ll die.
222 Plaza, 5th Street Highway
Pennsylvania
Executive secretary, as she leaves a “Respect in the Workplace” class, to male worker: You’ve lost six in a week!? You’re disappearing! Anymore and there will be nothing to grab on to!
South Park Circle Office
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Megalicious
User: If you don’t turn my cell phone back on today, I’ll tell the families of my patients and their lawyers that you are responsible for the patient’s death, because I couldn’t be reached!
Call center operator: Sir, if you are expecting your patients to die, perhaps they should switch to a different physician…
310 W. Bakerview Road
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Josh Sinnett
Tennis instructor to day-campers: You were special last year. You are not special anymore. If you still suck this year, leave these courts.
Birchwood Swim & Tennis Club
Chappaqua, New York
Overheard by: rachel kieffer
