Co-Worker #1: I have to go expose myself to Bob* and Mike* in a meeting now.
Co-Worker #2: Maybe I should skip that meeting.
1701 North Collins Boulevard
Richardson, Texas
Large lady: What's for lunch today?
Regular lady: Mushroom risotto.
Large lady: Oh, I can't have mushrooms–they make me horny and I ain't got no one to be horny with no more.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Aghast
Redneck high school kid checking out campus: Guantanamo Bay? Is that one of the places the bugs attack in Starship Troopers?
UT Campus
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Flabbergasted Longhorn
Desktop analyst #1: She has admin on her computer! She should know how to do this!
Desktop analyst #2: Just because she has administrative rights on her computer doesn't mean she knows how to use Google.
Houston, Texas
Student: I hate going to the weight room. Those weights are heavy.
School
Texas
Overheard by: dan
Coworker at reseller conference: I thought one of the resellers was talking like a pirate, but he was just Australian.
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: Chuckles The Porn Star
Admin #1: Ya know, for all the quirky ways about her, Susan really is adorable.
Admin #2: Oh, yay! She is very attractive, but sometimes ya just wanna smash her.
Houston, Texas
40-something office worker: I couldn't get a hold of my husband this morning, he's in China, but he's not black or a rich nerdy white guy, so I know he's not getting any while he's there.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: eesh
Employee, about coworker: Now, she is what we call an “amazon woman.” She's been known to eat puppies, kittens, and babies. You might have to jog a bit to keep up with her. Following the amazon woman to lunch is like chasing a wildebeest across the savannah.
Dallas, Texas
Office grunt: Why the fuck does Stan* have to listen to ABBA all day? God, I hate Sweden.
Hillsboro, Texas
Overheard by: Purchasing Slave
