Coworker on phone: So I told my husband, “I'm not going to have sex with you anymore until you lose 30 pounds!”
Dallas, Texas
Coworker on phone: So I told my husband, “I'm not going to have sex with you anymore until you lose 30 pounds!”
Dallas, Texas
Lady #1: So, I’ve joined a pottery class. It’s a group of people working in all different mediums. Everybody gets to make things according to their own artistic vision.
Lady #2, disgusted: Sounds very cultured.
Lady #1: Oh, no, haha — it’s not.
College and Park Street
Grapevine, Texas
Worker #1: Today is the longest day of sunshine.
Worker #2: What if it rains?
Worker #1: The sun doesn’t go down when it rains.
Worker #2: But it’s not out.
Worker #1: Yeah, but it doesn’t go down! … You are so pretty!
Portland, Texas
Overheard by: Kayte
Very pregnant elementary school teacher: God, I hate screaming kids!
1 Raider Circle
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Fellow Teacher
Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Corporate stooge
Worker bee: I won’t spend 60 dollars on something I can’t shoot my friends with.
11145 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: me either
Co-worker #1: Can I use the abbreviation RNA?
Co-worker #2: You mean, like the stuff in your blood?
Co-worker #3: What’s the abbreviation for “the customer’s a jerk”?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
Smoker: Yeah, but the problem is security. I could give her an injection of morphine, but–
401 Gate Tree Lane
Austin, Texas
Male office worker: So, what kind of nuts do you like?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Sean
Drone: With all the cutbacks, re-orgs and layoffs, what is management doing to keep up morale?
Manager: It’s called a paycheck. You know, that thing that magically appears in your bank account every month? That is your motivation. Any more questions?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
