Texas

Designer to photo researcher: Try to find a nice child abuse shot.

10801 N. MoPac Expressway
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: always listening

Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.

Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas

Phone rep: Can I get your name?
Customer: [Mumbles.]Phone rep: I don’t think I got that. Did that start with a ‘K’… as in ‘cat’?

Austin, Texas

Coworker on phone: So I told my husband, “I'm not going to have sex with you anymore until you lose 30 pounds!”

Dallas, Texas

Lady #1: So, I’ve joined a pottery class. It’s a group of people working in all different mediums. Everybody gets to make things according to their own artistic vision.
Lady #2, disgusted: Sounds very cultured.
Lady #1: Oh, no, haha — it’s not.

College and Park Street
Grapevine, Texas

Worker #1: Today is the longest day of sunshine.
Worker #2: What if it rains?
Worker #1: The sun doesn’t go down when it rains.
Worker #2: But it’s not out.
Worker #1: Yeah, but it doesn’t go down! … You are so pretty!

Portland, Texas

Overheard by: Kayte

Very pregnant elementary school teacher: God, I hate screaming kids!

1 Raider Circle
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Fellow Teacher

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Worker bee: I won’t spend 60 dollars on something I can’t shoot my friends with.

11145 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: me either

Co-worker #1: Can I use the abbreviation RNA?
Co-worker #2: You mean, like the stuff in your blood?
Co-worker #3: What’s the abbreviation for “the customer’s a jerk”?

962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas